Being petty has become very popular among young people today. This could be a trend or maybe we were just born this way. The pettiest part of all is that we don’t even use the word correctly. This just shows how petty we are! According to dictionary.com, petty means “of little or no importance”, so we are being “of little importance.” In reality we are actually freaking out over a situation that is petty. I use the words “freaking out” because when we are “being petty,” we are usually about to do something super psychotic and outrageous.

With that being said, I still think we should all just keep being petty and keep using the word the way we do. Petty makes the world go ‘round, and by that I mean crazy.

In order to make sure we keep the pettiness going, I want to make sure we all know how to be petty.

1. Analyze a situation.

An unimportant situation, that is. This can be the smallest, most unimportant problem of all time. Someone ate your Hot Pocket. Although, for me, this is actually not a small problem. This is a big deal, but I think it is because I was born petty.

2. Sulk to yourself.

Wow, you were really hungry and you were so excited about that Hot Pocket. Your stomach is making whale noises now, all thanks to Sue Ann.

3. Come up with a plan.

The plan should not be well thought out, though. This should be impulsive so act fast before you have time to talk yourself out of it.

4. Act on it.

Sue Ann stole your Hot Pocket so you’re going to steal her whole fridge. She won’t let you eat, so you won’t let her eat.

5. Be logical.

You’ll show her a hot pocket!! Next, you’re going to take all of Sue Ann’s pants and light all of her pockets on fire. That’ll show her!

Use these tips for any situation! Channel your inner Petty Wap and keep the pettiness going!