5 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

5 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

It's nice to help other people, but make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

Whether you just love being around people or you enjoy making people happy, you always look out for others. Sometimes, people pleasers get a bad wrap for not being assertive enough or for letting people take advantage of them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put others first sometimes. You just need to find the happy medium by taking time for yourself and not giving more than you can.

1. You apologize for everything

OK, so you made a joke that was kind of offensive or maybe you spilled coffee on someone — those are completely reasonable times to apologize. You find yourself constantly saying “I’m sorry” even when the situation is in no way your fault. Maybe you even apologize for your own feelings in an attempt to not make anyone mad or cause confrontation.

2. People try to take advantage of your niceness

People know you’ll help them out whenever you can and will even drop what you’re doing, so they start asking for favors all the time. It’s your place to create a boundary and say “no” when helping others out is too much for you to handle.

3. You overthink everything

You’re always thinking about whether you offended someone or hurt someone’s feelings, but the people in your life love you for who you are. There’s no need to worry.

4. You’re hardly selfish

I mean, this can be a good thing — you’re always looking out for everyone, even when it’s not one of your homies. You’ll help anyone who needs you, but there are times when it is completely okay to be selfish. Remember to take care of yourself first.

5. It’s hard for you to move on from people who are bringing you down

You find yourself holding onto past friendships. You can’t let the toxic people go because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, but you know it’s the right thing to do. You’d rather just make a subtle exit from the friendship than straight up tell the person how you feel. This ends up making you feel worse about the whole situation because you never really put your true feelings out there.

Always remember: It’s totally fine to take time for yourself and only focus on what's going on in your life at the moment. Looking out for other people isn’t a bad thing, so don’t beat yourself up over the past. It's nice to keep helping other people, but make sure you’re also taking care of number one, yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Warren Blewster Laid Down His Life For His Country, And This Is All We Have Left From Him

I hope that what you take from this is that this man existed.

In early February of 2018, I inherited the private diary of Warren Davis "Buddy" Blewster, a young man from Anniston, Alabama who was killed in action on the island of Guadalcanal.

There is not much left to describe the story of "Buddy" except for the few articles I have found and a couple of photographs someone gave me. It has been a weight on my chest since receiving the diary to write about him, to tell the story our community needs to hear.

I do not know much about Warren except for the fact that he loved his country enough to sacrifice his greatest love, baseball to serve his country. He played ball for many years including his senior year at Anniston High School.

Warren Davis Blewster enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and was sent the Solomon Islands in 1942. He arrived on the island of Guadalcanal on August 7, 1942, and he began writing a diary every day up until 2 days before his youthful death on October 22, 1942. He was buried by the military. In 1948 his mother requested his body and the Marine Corps returned it home to her. He is buried at Edgemont Cemetary in Anniston, Alabama.

I want the community to know the story of Warren Davis Blewster the heroic Marine who laid down his life for his country.

I will close with the poem a fellow serviceman wrote in the back of his diary.

To Our Blew

"You will never find a man,

so fine as Blew,

Doing his bit for his country,

the same as all of you.

He was my best friend,

From boot camp till the end,

Always standing gun watches,

from start till the end.

To all the boys the knew him

He was their friend,

Yes, to all the boys from Co (M)

He was their friend right till the end.

He will never be forgotten

Even though he is dead,

Because in our hearts

He will be man's best friend.

To the ones that did this

they will pay,

It may take some time

to put them away."

--Bucko Boulett

I hope that what you take from this is that this man existed. Even though time continues to trudge on and men like him are forgotten-- remember that they did, in fact, exist. Warren Davis Blewster was a hero because he served his country until death, and for that, he should be remembered.

Cover Image Credit: Zachary Grizzard

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An Open Letter To Unsatisfied 'Just Friends' Everywhere

Why it's okay to stay just as you are, friends.

You know the ones to which I'm referring.

The always-together, chemistry more prevalent than in the science building, sparks flying as if you're at a small town summertime barbecue 'friends'. The "you're a dork, but if anyone else says that, I'll punch them in the face and then flick them with my ponytail as I walk away" 'friends'. The "she was cute; maybe you should go for her (but that's an absolute lie)" 'friends'.

I've been there. I get it. You love him. You love him in a drive 3.6 miles to the nearest 24 hr Walgreens at 2 AM for Fruity Pebbles type of way. You love him in a pretend to hate driving in favor of being his permanent shotgun rider type of way. In a watch him write numbers in binary code or play hours on end of Super Smash Bros type of way.

So do it.

Love him.

Love him in all those ways and more. But most importantly- love him in a be his 'just friend', when you resign you cannot be his 'I love you', type of way.

Support him in every possible aspect of his life. Laugh at his terrible jokes. Be his go-to for anything and everything. Be his first "hey!" and his favorite "see you tomorrow". Make friends with his roommates and be kind to his conquests.

Give him no reason not to love you in return; we all know he does-and will- anyway, he just needs some time to grow and realize that you are indeed what he does not know he is missing.

Be completely and brutally honest with him.

Tell him up front when he is not being your favorite person, and tell him twice when he is. Buy him two Three Musketeers bars when you're buying yourself a MilkyWay, and tell him that you still love him- even though your candy choice is superior because it includes caramel.

Offer to help him clean and then let his 6'7" self-hold the dustpan as you sweep because "the floor is too far away" for your 5'4" figure to squat down and do it instead. Memorize his Subway order subconsciously- and more quickly than any of the workers- even though it's useless, as you know that if either of you goes to Subway, you'll be joined by the other.

Travel to his hometown and meet his parents on a whim- wearing a t-shirt and your trusty Nike sweatpants. Make them love you anyway somehow and let them tell him on their own that they like you and think you're "the one."

Laugh when he tells you this- trust me. It will take him a while to realize that they know best.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Campbell

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