5 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

5 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

It's nice to help other people, but make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
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Whether you just love being around people or you enjoy making people happy, you always look out for others. Sometimes, people pleasers get a bad wrap for not being assertive enough or for letting people take advantage of them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put others first sometimes. You just need to find the happy medium by taking time for yourself and not giving more than you can.

1. You apologize for everything

OK, so you made a joke that was kind of offensive or maybe you spilled coffee on someone — those are completely reasonable times to apologize. You find yourself constantly saying “I’m sorry” even when the situation is in no way your fault. Maybe you even apologize for your own feelings in an attempt to not make anyone mad or cause confrontation.

2. People try to take advantage of your niceness

People know you’ll help them out whenever you can and will even drop what you’re doing, so they start asking for favors all the time. It’s your place to create a boundary and say “no” when helping others out is too much for you to handle.

3. You overthink everything

You’re always thinking about whether you offended someone or hurt someone’s feelings, but the people in your life love you for who you are. There’s no need to worry.

4. You’re hardly selfish

I mean, this can be a good thing — you’re always looking out for everyone, even when it’s not one of your homies. You’ll help anyone who needs you, but there are times when it is completely okay to be selfish. Remember to take care of yourself first.

5. It’s hard for you to move on from people who are bringing you down

You find yourself holding onto past friendships. You can’t let the toxic people go because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, but you know it’s the right thing to do. You’d rather just make a subtle exit from the friendship than straight up tell the person how you feel. This ends up making you feel worse about the whole situation because you never really put your true feelings out there.

Always remember: It’s totally fine to take time for yourself and only focus on what's going on in your life at the moment. Looking out for other people isn’t a bad thing, so don’t beat yourself up over the past. It's nice to keep helping other people, but make sure you’re also taking care of number one, yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Became My Sister

Love is thicker than blood.
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Sis,

There are friends. Then, there are best friends.

According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.

As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.

The family we choose. You’re one of those.

The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.

First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.

Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.

Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.

We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.

You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.

You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.

You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.

You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.

I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.

With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.

We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.

Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.

Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.

We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.

I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Love you forever,

Your sis

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A Letter To The People I Met Freshman Year

To my friends who are now family, thank you.
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To my new family,

I would like to start by saying thank you for making this first year of college better than I could have ever imagined.

Since we just said our goodbyes a little over a week ago, it is time to reflect on these past nine months. Even though I cried for days saying goodbye to you all one by one, these months were filled with so much love and happiness, and for this, I am so grateful.

It is bittersweet because although high school was memorable, college is where we have started to gain the most knowledge, the best friends and the greatest memories of our lives. I believe that college is where it all happens and so far, I have proven myself right. These years will shape the rest of our lives, and that excites me so much.

I was incredibly grateful this year to have met people with such big smiles and even bigger hearts.

I have so much confidence that these relationships we have formed will last a lifetime. It is crazy when you think that we are still so young yet we have practically lived together for these past months, seeing each other every day and experiencing each other from all perspectives; It must be a sign that we are not yet sick of each other. You have made me laugh, cry, smile so hard it hurts, and everything in between.

To my future roommates, I cannot wait to experience the opportunity to live with my best friends.

To my crazy friends, you are truly insane, but I love you and will never stop caring for you.

To the person I least expected to meet, my love; I will never forget you or this incredible freshman year with you.

There is nothing better than finding people that understand your soul and love you for who you are. The people I have met this past year are the most genuine and amazing people I have ever encountered; I never saw this coming. But this eventful year filled with so many experiences was the best surprise I could have asked for.

This is the first step of our adulthood and together we will grow into amazing human beings; we will make mistakes, go through many trials and tribulations, but the most important thing is that we will be by each other's sides.

Not all of it will be hard though, we will make memories that will last a lifetime and even when we are telling them as we get older, we will still smile and be overcome with nostalgia as if they were yesterday. I promise to be there for you all through thick and thin and to always love you and be there for you. I never want these memories with you all to end.

I may be known as the girl who loves way too hard, but frankly, you are all worth it. Thank you, and I am so excited for these next three years and a lifetime with you all.

Cover Image Credit: Abigail Merritt

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