5 Signs He's A Player

5 Signs He's A Player

What to look for when you can't tell where the "relationship" is going

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We all want to believe in the idea of Prince Charming waltzing into our lives and sweeping us off our feet that many of us dreamed about as little girls. Unfortunately, if 2008 Taylor Swift taught us anything, that's not always the case.

So how do you know when you're dealing with an f-boy? It's not always easy to identify when you're faithfully wearing your rose tinted glasses, but I promise you the signs are all there. From one girl to another, here are top 5 signs he's playing you. Because we all deserve better.

  1. He Talks About Sleeping With You Before He Asks You To Be His Girlfriend

No, this isn't normal about-to-be-your-boyfriend behavior, especially if you haven't shown signs of it happening naturally anytime soon. If he has to ask, you're probably not on the same page and if this comes before him showing any real signs of commitment toward you, then that's a glaring sign of where his priorities lie.


  1. The Future Is Rarely Talked About In A Positive Way

This can also be disguised as someone who just wants to "live in the moment," a.k.a he's young and doesn't want to be tied down. A.k.a you won't be getting very far anytime soon with him.

  1. He Speaks Negatively Of His Past Relationships

"My ex is so crazy" and "I've been heartbroken before" are two big signs he's a player. First of all...what did he do to make her crazy? And saying he's afraid to be heartbroken again is pretty ironic considering he's not so afraid to be talking to you. All these are are excuses. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that guys will move MOUNTAINS to be with you no matter how tired or busy they are. But remember this too..they will move those same mountains if it means they'll get to sleep with you too.

  1. He Parties A LOT

Keep in mind, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Going out and partying at whatever speed you want is totally up to you and isn't for anyone to really judge. But if he's coming home after the sun comes up more than a few times since you've been talking to him, he's probably not very interested in anything serious, and might just be looking to have fun. This isn't a guaranteed point, but also shouldn't be overlooked.

5. Deep Down, You Know It's Not Right.

Listen to your gut. A girl's intuition is her strongest asset, and regardless of what the people around you are saying, if it doesn't feel 100%, get out of there.

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10 Things We Love and Don't Love at Weddings

It's not about the bride and groom. It's about the guests' experience.

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If you think that weddings are all about the bride and groom, then you haven't tried planning a wedding. If that was true, then the planning process wouldn't be rife with discussions, arguments, and family/friendship-altering decisions. But that's not a bad thing.

A wedding revolves around the bride and groom, and they care about their loved ones who have supported them through the lows and highs of a relationship and will continue to do so. Naturally, couples want a wedding that meets their personal desires and is a memorable party for their guests.

As someone who has been to a variety of weddings and in the throes of planning one, I'm in the perfect position to speak for the masses about what we want and don't want to see at a wedding. There's no way anyone feels differently than I do about the following:

1. Love - Personal Vows

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The dating world has been overcome with swiping, lewd pics, and group dates as traditionally romantic gestures such as flowers and an intimate dinner have taken a back seat. The world needs romance, and it can be found in personal vows. Hearing about the unique love shared between the bride and groom is sure to bring a tear to every eye.

2. Don't Love - Long Ceremonies

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We are not a patient generation. I'm not an expert, but it's safe to say our attention span, as a whole, is about 2 minutes long. Guests are there to witness a beautiful union, but they are really there to get drunk, eat, and dance – and I wouldn't test their patience during a long ceremony. From the beginning of the ceremony (walking down the aisle) to the conclusion (kiss the bride), keep it around 20 minutes. 30 tops. Any more and nobody cares. We are a fickle crowd.

3. Love - Ceremony, Reception, and Lodging in One Location

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I'm lazy. I think we all are. Does anyone want to go to a ceremony, then get in an Uber for 20 minutes to get to the reception, then get an uber back to your house, hotel, car, or whatever at the end of the night? That's a negative. The best weddings are the ones that are all-inclusive. Sure, walking a block or two is cool, but let's avoid completely separate locations.

4. Don't Love - A Selfish Officiant

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Holy mackerel, I can't stand this one. First of all, we are there to celebrate friends/family that are getting married, not to hear about how the officiant knows them or why Jesus is important. I don't want to hear your bad jokes, your familiarity with them, why they chose you, or your never-ending prayers. I want to hear the officiant speak about the bride and groom's love, their relationship, what makes them unique in this world, and celebrate their strength. Officiants shouldn't say "I" until they pronounce them Husband and Wife.

5. Love - Dancing

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Obviously. This will be discussed further down, but dancing is a blast when given a proper amount of time to boogie. Sometimes, the dance-portion of the evening can be stilted and we never can really get down they way we need to.

6. Don't Love - Frequent Stops in Dancing

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Per the last observation, a wedding has to let us get funky. By the time dancing occurs, we have quite a few people liquored up, and there's always a family member or friend that stops the dancing to give a gut-wrenching speech. Or the DJ keeps pausing the dancing for a stupid game. Or it's cake-cutting time. The point is, we like to see a wedding that is organized and has time carved out for at least 2 hours of uninterrupted bump'n'grind.

7. Don't Love - A Selfish DJ

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They suck, they suck, they are suck incarnate. They suck harder than a selfish officiant. There are DJs out there that don't realize they are a wedding DJ and think it's time to freestyle the mixing, explore outside the 90's and 2000's playlist, and use the microphone to add their own voice. If you are a wedding DJ, then all you do is make the appropriate announcements, play solid music, and occasionally get people clapping. You are one miniscule step away from being replaced by a well-seasoned Pandora – get it together.

8. Love - Personal Moment with Bride and Groom

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This one is particularly important to me as a guest, but I also understand if it can't happen. There is something truly special about getting a personal moment with the newlyweds. It's a reminder of why you're there – to support them in this special moment, and they wanted to share it with you. The reception is a blur for the bride and groom, but those who walk around and thank the guests really go the extra mile.

9. Love - Open Bar

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Duh.

10. Don't Love - Long Table Rehearsal Dinner

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This is definitely a personal thing. I can't stand birthdays, family events, friend groups, or anything involving eating at a long table. First of all, I rarely get to sit next to those I know or those I want to get to know. It feels like we all end up next to people we're not trying to meet. Yes, this is a great moment for people to get to know one another, but we aren't children that have to be squished together. I don't want to make a new connection with someone while battling with my spaghetti and trying to get dinner drunk to deal with the awkwardness. Put standing circular tables out with an open bar and dank hors d'oeuvre, and allow people to organically meet'n'greet.

To be honest, the last one does apply to weddings, but I just really wanted to get my feelings out there about 10 person 1-table evenings. They are like a selfish officiant and a selfish DJ made love and produced an awkward evening.

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