There's an unspoken etiquette that exists within the realm of Starbucks, one that everyone defies routinely. After consulting a group of experts (which is really me and my reflections in two separate mirrors and a shadow) I've drafted a list of 5 most important rules to obey in while visiting Starbucks.
1. The honest one: You aren't special, buttercup.
We've all been there. You walk into any store and something about you changes. You either become: A,) a shy awkward kid who says "thank you, you too" as a response to "enjoy your meal," or B.) wannabe royalty.
If you're the latter, you think the world belongs to you. The staff of whatever café you bless with your presence must kiss your toes and make a path of petals before you. They MUST complete your order within a minute and thirty seconds because you're incredibly busy. Well, the staff already does everything they can, and they have to put up with hundreds of people with similar attitude. If someone makes a mistake, usually a new barista on the job, be patient. If your drink isn't there after a while, ask the barista kindly if it is coming up without any attitude. You don't own the place.
2. The obvious one: Don't order anything complex during busy times of the day.
If not as a gesture of amity to your barista, do it for your sake: nothing good is rushed.
(Unless we'retalking about fraternities or sororities, eyo! I'll see myself out.)
Your drink will not taste as well if it's not made with as much time, it's just common sense. Besides, you'll essentially make all of the patrons after you 5 minutes late to their jobs.
3. The judgmental one: Your Instagram posts about drinks are SO original.
I've certainly broken this rule MANY times, but the point is: we all know how a frappuccino looks like. It's a cup of a sugar, neon-colored milkshake-esque drink. It's pretty, but probably not as pretty as you, dear reader, so post more pictures of you and your friends and fewer food photos. We know how a cup of coffee looks like. We've seen colored iced teas before.
Just because it has color and whipped cream on it doesn't mean it's Instagram-worthy!
I must emphasize that it's fine to post a rare drink, or something especially eye-pleasing from Starbucks on social media. But, if it's not, like a pumpkin spice latte, that comes around EVERY fall, you just make Starbucks lovers everywhere look like they have a memory of a goldfish.
4. The random one: Your name will be misspelled. That's funny, not upsetting.
This is a coffee shop, not a spelling bee. I don't understand why people get so upset over silly name spellings, I find them quite hilarious.
If your name has more than three syllables, if it is exotic, foreign-sounding, or it's something simple like Sarah, it'll most likely be misspelled. It's fine. Nobody is assigning a new name to you, Sara with no H. The name system is there to just distinguish orders between one another for the baristas and customers. So, don't pay too much attention to it, it's not a personal attack.
5. The most important one: RESPECT YOUR BARISTA.
Your barista is a breathing, living human person (shocker!). They make mistakes. They have their ups and downs. They get tired. But, they also work hard to ensure your orders are followed perfectly, which they are most of the times. If you're kind to your barista, they'll be kind to you, it's common sense. They'll even go out of their way to give you drink suggestions and put extra whipped cream on your beloved Frappuccino.
Remember those rules and enjoy your next visit to Starbucks!
