Are you upset about not having friends? Get a dog! There is no logical reason to choose human interaction over one with a walking fluff ball. Feeling sad? Pet fluff ball. Lonely? Let fluff ball sit on your lap. Dogs don't judge; if you make them your best friend, you'll be theirs too. So go out and get yourself a dog, or if you have one, they could probably use a treat right about now.

1. Dogs don't judge: Go ahead, eat that pint of ice cream, the only thing your dog is judging is how close they can get to you without being shooed away. (inches forward every few minutes)

2. Dogs are always excited to see you: Unlike Becky, who fakes smiles every time she's around you, dogs will never fake their excitement to be in your presence. Whether it has been two minutes of three days, nothing is like the welcome back your dog will give you.

3. Dogs encourage your anti-social behavior: Don't want to go out? Now you have an excuse. "Sorry I can't leave my dog for that long." It works like a charm, and your dog will be happy to spend more time with you. No more awkward baby showers or pampered chef parties for you!

4. Dogs don't give you attitude: Okay, some do, but for the most part they are pretty chill. No complaints from Buddy if you don;t want to walk him today. Coco won't mind if you sleep the day away. They don't have agendas ever. And most importantly, there is a complete absence of passive aggressiveness. I'm pretty sure we can all agree that that's the worst type of attitude.

5. Dogs will love you for ever and ever and ever and ever: Like no joke, that love is the strongest one you will ever have.We are so not worthy of the affection that they have to offer. If you are lucky enough to have a dog, embrace the crap out of it. So screw significant others and get yourself a dog today.