Recently, the Internet has been blowing up with a lot of responses to the new app Flappy Bird. It’s a game that has a little cartoon bird, and you tap the screen to move the bird up and down. The goal is to get it through the opening of as many green pipes as possible to get a high score.
It sounds simple enough. At first, it might just seem like a harmless game to play when you’re bored, but when you get addicted, it starts to lead to trouble. So if you haven’t downloaded the app yet, I suggest you don’t. To make sure that you don’t get sucked into the vortex that is Flappy Bird, I have listed some reasons for you to stay away.
1. It ruins any time management you thought you had. – Forget that essay you were thinking about starting, because wasting time is Flappy Bird’s specialty. It’s almost impossible to put the phone down when you were just one tap away from beating that high score that you’ve had for weeks. This rather simple game will keep you coming back for more until you’re able to claim that you have the highest score out of all of your friends. (I mean, who wouldn’t want those bragging rights?)
2. You risk throwing your phone and having it shatter everywhere. – There is something about this little bird that is just so frustrating that you will often have the urge to chuck your phone at a wall. The hole is just so little and the bird is too big. I swear it’s rigged. To save you from a trip to the Apple store and embarrassing story of how you broke your phone, I suggest you stay away from that download button.
3. It brings out anger inside that you never thought you had. – When the screen is flashing game over because your finger slipped and you tapped at the wrong time, you start to feel your blood boil as rage starts coursing through your veins with a fury you never thought possible. I swear to you, this game can literally get anyone to the point where they want to explode with anger. I don’t know if it’s the smug look on the birds face when he plummets to the ground or the fact that you can’t get past ten poles.
4. You will have random outbursts in class from frustration. – Whatever you do, do not play this game in class. I have fallen for this trap many times, and it gets you many awkward stares and sometimes even a disapproving look from the teacher. You can get so invested in it that you forget you’re in a lecture hall, and when you start cussing profusely at your phone, you are sure to land yourself in some awkward situations. It’s just impossible to contain your anger when you play this game.
5. It’s the devil. – Plain and simple, this game was made in the fiery depths of hell. It was made to wreak havoc on smartphone users everywhere. Just go take a look on Twitter or Facebook. I’m sure there is at least one person complaining about how Flappy Bird ruined their life. Now you know that these people aren’t exaggerating, Flappy Bird ruins lives. This is your warning. Now go out into the vast world that is the App Store, but steer clear of this app unless you are willing to risk these side effects.
