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5 Reasons Why Trump Is Our Best Option

Elect Trump or there'll be hell toupee

5 Reasons Why Trump Is Our Best Option
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Let me preface this with the fact that I am, in no way, endorsing Trump. This article was written solely for comedic value. Enjoy. #ImWithHer.

5 reasons why Trump is obviously the best.

1. He’s a businessman, not a dirty politician

Because who needs to know how to run a country when you know how to create businesses that end up filing for bankruptcy 4 times over the course of 2 years.

2. He respects women more than anyone else in the world

His “grab her by the pussy” comment was obviously some simple locker room banter, and he loves and respects women more than anyone else. I mean, you have to really love women to get married to 3 different ones!

3. Trump’s wall around America will save our country

We all know that a wall around our entire country will take no time to build, and save us from the inevitable doom of diversity, integration, and acceptance.

4. Mr. Trump is an excellent speaker

Only the absolute best speakers in our nation know how to interrupt their opponent 18 times in one debate.

5. His political party affiliation has changed at least 5 times since 1987


Indecisiveness and conformity are such a turn on, Mr. Trump! *heart eyes*


Well, there ya have it, folks. There are my top 5 reasons for swooning over the one and only Donald Trump.

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