You wake up, it’s raining out, and there’s no chance you can get out of bed for your aggressively early 10 am class on this eerie Wednesday morning (college kids function on a completely different time cycle). In light of the easy decision to skip class, you instead opt for a little snuggle-sesh with your significant other. And by significant other I mean Netflix. Netflix is always there to cuddle and no doubt knows how to make you smile, but it is shadily ruining your life.
Netflix and I have been dating for a little over three years now and it’s been an interesting ride. Recently, we’ve hit a rough patch bad enough to make me consider breaking up. I realized I’m hooked on Netflix and I need some time alone. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Addiction is not a joke. Netflix binge disorder is real and so are these consequences.
Time Warp
Do you ever get that feeling that time and space don’t exist when you’re watching Netflix? Of course you do. That little feature called Post-Play that gives you a brief countdown before automatically playing the next episode for you is the cause of endless hours of accidental unproductivity. Due to the natural laziness of college kids, I find myself too sluggish to reach out from underneath my blanket cocoon to disrupt the mind-numbing cycle. Next thing I know, well, there goes 5 hours of my day.
Procrastination
Netflix is the leading cause of late assignments. Just kidding, but not really. It’s Sunday afternoon and you have a paper due at midnight that you haven’t started. You know it’s going to take you a while so you sit down, game face on, and open up your laptop. The first thing you see is the Netflix homepage staring back at you with more TV shows and movies than you know what to do with. One show won’t hurt; you’ll start your work after. There’s one problem with that idea and it’s because you can’t just quit Netflix; it never lets you leave when you want to. One show turns into one season when you get trapped in binge watching and then it’s 10pm and you still haven’t written your paper.
Dying Social Life
I know I’m not alone in saying that sometimes I like Netflix more than I like people. When you’re in a relationship with Netflix, sometimes staying in and hanging with ~bae~ is better than spending your limited college budget on ridiculously expensive drinks, especially when you have all the friends you need right there on the screen.
It Just Doesn’t Get You
Most of the time, suggestions of what to watch after you finish an entire TV show in one day are pretty accurate. But, there are times when you question if Netflix really knows you at all. It suggests something you clearly would never watch, and makes you second-guess the legitimacy of your connection. NO Netflix I am NOT going to watch Honey Badgers: Masters of Mayhem.
Twisted Reality
After watching ten episodes of Gossip Girl straight through in one sitting, I started becoming Blair Waldorf. I was transforming. Okay, not really, but I did start thinking that my life should slightly resemble that of the millionaire crew of characters living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. After binging so much, your addiction makes you think that you are biffers with Barney Stinson or you’re chowing down with Guy Fieri. To addicts everywhere, this is dangerous.
Let’s be honest here, you’re probably just going to go watch Netflix. I’m here to tell you don’t let Netflix take advantage of your addictive relationship. Take back your life.
