“If you fuel your journey on the opinions of others, you are going to run out of gas.” ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli
In one instant, everything can go from a twisted, jumbled up mess, to a clear and decisive vision for your life. And that moment for me was when I respected myself and my judgment too much to pay any mind to the negative judgments of others who don’t know me, my principles, or my values. I’m sure many people have experienced the same situation where everyone around them, from the closest friends to perfect strangers, yearns to offer up their ignorant opinions on your relationship and your partner. So this one is for all of you who respected yourselves too much to keep caring about the negativity, rocked it – and stopped giving a sh*t.
1. It should be as clear as daylight, but you aren’t their partner; I am.
For whatever reason, it seems many people have gotten this notion in their head that I should, for some inscrutable reason, dislike my partner or things about my partner simply because they take issue with those same qualities they keep pointing out. But I am here to let you in on a secret I’ve been keeping: I, quite obviously, don’t mind those qualities because I am still with them! A gob-smacking lesson, I know. But it still seems like everyone, from family to friends to coworkers to neighbors to family of friends and friends of family all have a burning and passionately overwhelming need to offer up an unsolicited two (more like 200) cents on a relationship that does not affect them in notable way.
2. Most of what you know about them is third and fourth party information – none truthful.
I know that almost every nugget of gossip you have on my partner or about us came from a less than trustworthy source because I know your source is either biased or using their own hastily and misinformation wrought conclusions to scrape together a scenario that shows ten-thousandth of one percent of the entire picture. And trust me, I know when you go flapping your gaping jaws about my partner because you then go tell someone who knows me and who will fill me in on your water cooler gossip. And when said friend tells me what you told them you heard about my partner, I have to sit back and take a moment to wonder at the things I never knew they did with me! It’s crazy how I never knew my partner did such and such with me at such and such time even though I was never even with them at that time or place!
3. You really should have something better to do with your time than to speak negatively about someone else’s partner.
While this fact seems pretty self-explanatory, apparently it isn’t because it’s clear from all the wild stories I hear about you saying about my partner that you still manage to find precious time to spew hatred about them. And here’s why I really could not possibly piece together a single crap about what you think or say about my partner: your words are a mirror that reflect more on and about you than the petty hate and baseless judgment you throw at my partner. How can I actually care about your bull when you take the time to think it and say it and, in the process, reveal the kind of small person you actually are?
4. The fact that you bother to passive aggressively comment on my relationship means you’re already not worth my respect or time caring about what you think.
Again, relatively simple concept. Or, I wish it was. Words are powerful weapons, and being careless, thoughtless, or simply unaware enough to realize how bad you make yourself look by trying to tear down an innocent who has not done anything to harm you is the most honest reveal of your emotional maturity.
5. Some of us put our energy towards furthering our education or reading a book, but you spend your energy furthering the latest office or classroom gossip about my partner and I.
It is one thing to hear another person talking poorly about my partner and not say anything to defend them and a totally other thing to continue circulating the hate. But this shows how much you value your time, energy, and words. I cannot possibly care about your judgment of my partner when some of us choose to rise above that sort of garbage, and you have already revealed your place amongst it. Thanks for showing your true colors and reminding me of exactly where your opinions belong – the trash.
