5 Reasons The Honeymoon Phase Rocks As Told By The Office

5 Reasons The Honeymoon Phase Rocks As Told By The Office

Every part of a relationship is amazing, but that honeymoon phase...
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There's a lot of articles out there right now of why your boyfriend should be your best friend and why having one is awesome, and maybe this will be no different. But the honeymoon phase of a relationship is probably one of the best things ever.


1. You're still a little embarrassed of being completely gross and weird around each other. I don't know about some of you, but I like having my dignity. So being completely gross around my boyfriend is not something I'm ready for yet.

2. There's still a little mystery there, even though you're trying to get to know every part of your significant other. I've only been dating my boyfriend for a couple months, so everything is still a bit mysterious. We're obviously still getting to know each other. But I need knowledge.


3. You're still best friends. An important part of a relationship is that you're best friends. Honestly, a more sarcastic and funny relationship is so much more fun than a serious boring one. So staying friends is very important.


4. You still keep track of dates. Until a few months go by and you're just like "umm...when did we start dating?"


5. You're completely dorky around each other, and if you're lucky, he makes fun of you. This seems super weird, but if you can't joke around with each other, then what fun is that? Dating shouldn't be super serious all the time. It should be fun. And what's better than a little teasing when you're being dumb?


Eventually the shy attitude goes away and you can let your crazy self fly. And they'll still like you anyway. Every phase should be the honeymoon phase.


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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Here's How To Break Your Bad Relationship Patterns

We have to make a series of hard choices all the time to undo these patterns for the betterment of ourselves

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"When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we gradually learn not to fear it." -Pema Chodron

We're often told about all these simple choices we could make to better our lives. We're told to just say what you need to say, we're told to stop worrying about everything, we're told to just leave that relationship. Needless to say, we don't hear all of these things as revelations, but rather want to slap ourselves silly because that's what we've been trying to do all along. It's always much more complicated than that because if it really were that simple, we would have already done it.

These choices are never singular; we have to make a series of hard choices every moment of every day to reach these outcomes. The verb to choose makes it seem like we have an awareness of all the little choices we make, but we don't. It makes it seem like we are in control, but that kind of control has to be developed over time with increasing awareness.

For example, let's say that you have a boyfriend who blew off your plans, without much of an explanation. You're reasonably frustrated and upset--maybe you express this to him, maybe not. He says that maybe he could show up later that night, and you agree because you really want to see him. He's still making time for you, right? It turns out that his plans ran longer than he expected, so he blows off the 'maybe' plans too. You say that you're disappointed, but that you should meet up another time when he's more available. This is an all-too-common scenario. I've experienced this scenario as well.

Over a period of time, these sorts of behaviors tend to compile into bad relationship patterns. Sometimes people have to reschedule or cancel plans, and that's completely understandable. One of the chief problems with this scenario is that the hypothetical you continues to make little choices that communicate that it's okay for him to treat you like that because you will be there to make allowances. You will accommodate him no matter what, so a) he doesn't experience negative consequences for his actions, b) he doesn't learn to respect your time, and c) he starts to see you as expendable.

Start to gain an awareness of all the little choices that occur within your relationships. These form the bedrock of relationships, and are increasingly difficult to change over time. In the scenario, for example, a better course of action would've been to express how you felt to him, but then made other plans to still have a wonderful evening. It's important not to rely on any one person, except yourself, to make sure you're happy and have good times. The best course of action in this scenario is to realize how little choices in the past set the standards for the relationship, but also to recognize that this may not be a relationship worth your time and energy.

To generalize, it is important to recognize a) the little choices that enabled this bad relationship pattern and b) maybe realize that this relationship doesn't live up to your standards.

Of course, relationships are infinitely complex and there are many behaviors, including abusive behaviors, that are in no way your fault. What I'm trying to focus on here is the places where we do have control, how we build upon unhealthy relationship patterns, and how we become stuck in relationships that are bad for us.

While some people may not be aware of the harm they cause, you have to assume that they are aware and take measures to ensure that they are aware. Oftentimes we make excuses for our partners in bad relationships, but it's impossible for them to feign ignorance if you've directly expressed to them how their behavior makes you feel. If you say, "When you blow off plans with me, it makes me feel upset and frustrated and like I don't matter," and they continue to do that behavior and/or make excuses for that behavior, you know they're okay with making you feel that way.

Sometimes we are completely aware that our partners have hurt us and will continue to hurt us, no matter what they say, but we continue to make choices that aren't in our best interests. If you have friends and family members who've seen these bad relationships, it seems absolutely absurd that you would make choices that aren't in your best interests. They're operating based on logic; however, they're forgetting that we're primarily emotional creatures. Why do we make these bad choices? Why do we continue on in bad relationships?

One simple answer is that the best choices we can make for ourselves can often be painful, terrifying, uncomfortable choices, so much so that they feel like the wrong choices. For example, it can feel a lot better to avoid bringing up issues that have been bugging you from the start of the relationship. It can be a gut-wrenching, panic-inducing choice to bring up a conversation that you really need to have, on the other hand.

Ask yourself: what are you actually saying when you bring up an issue? You're saying this is important to me. What are you actually saying when you don't bring up an issue? This isn't that important to me.

Ask yourself: what are your actions actually saying to a partner? For example, if they cancel on you, but then you let them show they up when they want, what does that say? It's saying that your time isn't that valuable, you're waiting on them, and you have nothing better to do. If they cancel on you, but then you make plans with friends and back away from the relationship, you're saying that you have an awesome life and have high standards for who you let in your life.

Doesn't matter how much you think you like a person, you have to pay more attention to how they treat you. Oftentimes we think about what we want in a person in terms of personality (e.g. charming), career, lifestyle, physical attributes, etc. These can all be very important to you, but setting standards for how you want to be treated supersedes the rest. You shouldn't give a sh*t if someone is at the top of their field, super attractive, and great to talk to if they don't treat you right. What matters most is that you feel loved, supported, and cared for. Period. Notice that I didn't say what matters most is that you are loved, supported, and cared for--I said you have to feel it, because bad partners will claim to do all those things even if you don't feel it. And what you feel is most important.

It'll take a long series of choices, big and little, to improve bad relationship patterns. Maybe these choices are about an issue that you face yourself, and it's less about your partner. Maybe these choices are about a little of you, a little of your partner, trying to improve or salvage a relationship. Maybe these choices are about whether or how to end a relationship altogether. To make the right choices in the moment, we sometimes have to sit with feelings of extreme distress. These feelings will pass, but the choice will endure and move you from point A to point B. It can feel like that discomfort will last forever, and it can feel like that means you're making the wrong decision. Once you sit with those feelings, you'll realize how much you were trapped. You'll also realize how empowering it feels to simply exist with them, and watch them pass.

I've speeded through a lot of important points in this article. After reading this you may have a lot of thoughts in your head about how to make use of this, or how I couldn't cover everything in a couple thousand words. If there's something you read in this article that struck you, though, I want you to write it down somewhere you'll come back to it. I want you to just take a minute about how one thing you read could impact your life. Just think about it, for a minute.

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