Many of us have once been told that long-distance relationships are a waste of time. People fear that the difficulty and stress of being apart is not worth all of the times that they are together again, no matter how wonderful these times may be. And many more fear that temptation will win over all other loyalties. While there are any number of things that may happen to end a long-distance relationship, relationships are not just as cookie-cutter as “out of sight, out of mind” or “I love you, you love me.”
1. You love each other even when you hate each other.
We all envy the relationship between Derek and Meredith. Even when they seem to be falling apart, they still seem to have everything completely together. All couples fight, there’s no way around it. Fighting is—oddly enough—a way for one to show care for another. Arguing between partners shows interest in the relationship. And even in those times of trouble, there is still nothing you wouldn’t do for one another, even if it could mean a road-trip just to see each other.
2. You learn to not take one another for granted.
Long-distance relationships in college are very hard. Sometimes, being too close to someone or a situation can give people tunnel vision, making it hard to see the relationship clearly. Time apart is good so that couples can gain a wider perspective. Distance and absence make the heart grow fonder and teaches those involved to appreciate one another a bit more.
3. You become stronger—both together and independently.
Time and distance are two of the biggest tests that a relationship can face, especially with people as young as college students. You cannot do everything under the sun together anymore, and that can be a very hard thing to adjust to. You will learn to grow on your own as you settle into a new routine that doesn’t involve one another on a daily basis. While some people are simply not cut out for long-distance relationships, others make the decision to try to make things work. A big reason why some long-distance relationships fail is because while partners are growing on their own, they forget to involve one another, and so they grow apart. It is important to draw strength from one another and lean on each other for love and support in order to have a nurtured and healthy long-distance relationship.
4. The times you are together are so much more special.
Days, weeks, months may go by between the times that these kinds of couples are reunited again. These times together are now made so much more special simply because of all of the other times that are spent apart. Cherish the moments that you are able to come together with your partner once again—just like the times that you’re apart, the times that you’re together will pass. But when you’re apart, it’s good to take things a day at a time and continue to look forward to when you can come together again.
5. You learn how to live without each other.
This is a bit of a Catch 22—it can be both beneficial and detrimental to a relationship. College is a crazy time filled with classes, studying and being around all kinds of new people. When you are apart from your partner for so long, you learn how to live without being with one another all the time. Sometimes that will cause partners to grow apart and the relationship will come to an end. But other times it can serve as a great lesson. If you cannot love yourself then there is no way to possibly love another. You learn that your happiness is not necessarily reliant on the other person. You do not need another person in order to survive and make your way in this world. But if the love between partners is strong and they are truly “the one”—as cheesy as it may seem—you will learn to live without each other, but you will also learn that you don’t ever want to.
To my own long-distance relationship:
Thank you for standing by me as I made my venture away from you and towards college and my professional future. Thank you for wanting what is best for me and respecting my decisions, even though they meant moving four hours away from you. You have taught me how to trust again, and you have shown me the kind of love that I deserve. Thank you for loving me like no one else ever has and no one else ever will. I could not imagine a better person to stumble through life with.
