Since starting college two years ago, I feel as though I've become more open to certain things, especially relationship wise. I always said that I would never date a non-artist and that all jocks were off limits. I also vowed that I would never date anyone who wasn't Hispanic like me, but I continuously broke that rule to the point where my Grandma told me to stop saying it. I had this mental list of things a person had to be before I dated them and was continuously disappointed, until now.
When I met my S.O. I still had my list of standards and I had a boyfriend at that point. Our story is a long one and isn't perfect, but love doesn't always flow in a straight line. It's very much a road that has had some sharp turns, potholes and maybe caused a few flat tires along the way. But with being in this commitment, I've learned so much about not only myself, but about love in general.
1. Love is colorblind.
I'm 100% Puerto Rican and both of my parents were probably 1000 times darker than me, so why am I white? Don't ask because I have no answer or you. My S.O. is African-american and he comes from an amazing African-american family. We've been together for a while so most of the questions, family, and friends wise, about color and race are gone. My Grandma once told me when I talked to her about looks I've gotten when people see us hold hands that "God made man in his own image" and that love should not be defined by color and as this relationship has grown and I've grown, I 100% agree.
2. The Food
I know this probably sounds stereotypical, but my family really loves rice and that has nothing to do with being Hispanic. I will literally eat rice with everything, even if there are no beans involved. Carbs taste fantastic. Until I met him, I never really ate Spicy food (yes, not all Hispanics like spicy foods) but he introduced me to so many different flavors in foods that I had never been willing to experience before. We bond a lot through food, one of our first dates was to Wendy's where he quickly learned about dipping fries in Frosties. We talk about cooking styles and our families cooking styles all the time.
3. Uncomfortable Situations
Before dating him I never was aware of public views on any of my other relationships. no one really cared when I dated a caucasian guy and no one ever made a big deal about dating a Hispanic person. With him, I've noticed people looking at him sideways or at us sideways in public. We both grit our teeth and bear it because prejudice isn't worth making a scene over. But we ALWAYS discuss those situations that make us uncomfortable. I've spent days trying to figure out why. Is it my unwanted White Passing? Is it him? Why do people care? What I've come to realize is that it will happen and it actually has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with the people reacting to us. They have some bias, some problem with us or the idea of us that shouldn't affect us, so I refuse to let it. We have other things to deal with than other people opinions.
4. Beauty becomes redefined.
It probably seems weird to him but I tell my S.O. that he's beautiful every day. Why? 1) He's adorable in my eyes and 2) He's such a strong person. Since being with him and growing more I've recognized strength as beautiful and that physical beauty doesn't matter. What's beautiful to me know is an inner strength, intelligence, passion, and humor. And because of him, I've begun to see my own inner beauty and become more comfortable with it.
5. Our Cultures have given us a base to grow from.
In the Latin culture, short hair on a woman is kind of a no-no. Recently I've begun growing out my hair because I'm tired of my neck being cold, but when I met my S.O. I had a pixie cut and was wearing a snapback backward. I was often told, and still am told, that I sometimes look like a boy, but I believe adrodginy is beautiful. Cutting my hair was a shock to my family, I believe, because of our culture. With him, he's very much a protector and a provider type of man, which I don't mind. But we were both raised to be hardworking individuals and that our education comes first. He is one of my main sources of support. Being minorities, we both push ourselves harder because we know how hard the people before us have worked to give us the life we have and we are lucky to have what we do. From that solid base, we have the freedom to grow.
I often hear about how much I've changed since meeting my S.O. and how for those close to me, they've had to adjust to it. I think the things we've been through together have made me see the world, him and myself differently. In ways, he has opened my eyes, in other's he's opened my mind. Together, we give eachother room to grow and always support the other.
