I had had relaxed hair for as long as I could remember (we are talking 12-14 years). As a young girl, I had a very tender head especially during the early days of my childhood, so getting my hair relaxed was the only way to ensure that I sit through getting my hair braided for school. For those who don’t know, a relaxer is a chemical that makes curly hair straight.
So for most of my life, I thought it was natural to apply white, foul-smelly and burning substance on my scalp in order to attain a more silky smooth and straight hair texture. For me that silky straight hair was natural to me for more than 12 years. So it wasn’t until I heard of people going natural that I decided to question what my hair is and what being natural meant to me. Going natural as I personally define it as not applying chemicals to alter the natural curls of my hair. It has been one of the best life decisions that I have made thus far.
FYI, I have only been natural for 2 years and I have learned a lot about myself. So here are the lessons that 'going natural' has taught me and I would love to share it with you.
Disclaimer: SHOUT OUT TO THE THOSE WITH RELAXED HAIR, I give you all props.
1. There are many ways to slay
During the first few months when I decided to go natural, I began to notice how many people were natural and were killing it, as well as people who were rocking relaxed hair. I thought these women were slaying all the way, #BlackGirlMagic. I learned to see the different textures, length and color that a black woman’s hair can have, #BlackGirlMagic. Part of the reason why I went natural was to have choices. I can have my hair combed out into an afro if I want, have my hair straight if I want or even rock a twist out.
2. Self love.
It wasn’t until I went natural and personally started taking care of my own hair that I began to truly love my kinky hair. Part of this journey was learning to comb it - start with the tips not the roots! - I had to learn the hard way. Even though, it can be tedious and time consuming, it has also been therapeutic and me time. Watching my hair spring into an unbelievable length after stretching out, or just watching baby curls bloom has been life changing. To me setting time for my hair has almost been like having a baby and anticipating how it will grow. It has also taught me to love my hair and myself even more.
3. Exploring alternatives.
From my long list of Youtube subscriptions and plethora of pinterest boards, I have learned that I would need to use protective styles. This meant getting braids, wigs, and weave to protect my young curls. My hair was still at its infant stage, so both it and I weren’t ready to see the world in all its hard glances and harsh conditions. So I explored protective styles and it has been fun. I have had the opportunity to play with hair length, hair styles and even hair accessories from multiple head ties to colorful head wraps. This experience has definitely taught me to push past my limits and still feel confident.
4. That sometimes you have to hold onto that vision that only you see and believe in.
During my transition from relaxed hair to natural, I carried my hair with two textures- some parts were relaxed and the others were coily. And it wasn’t a pleasant sight at first. Mostly because I did not know how to best manage my hair at the time. I knew what going natural entailed and the vision that I had for my hair so I held onto that. And trust me, it was a long journey getting there- and even now I'm still not there- but I've gained endurance. So even when a few friends and opinionated family members suggested that I revisit a salon to get my hair relaxed, I had to stand my ground. This journey has made me a stronger person.
5. Life is all about patience and readjustments.
I had to learn to be patient with my hair. 'Going natural' taught me that if something is worth it, then it takes time. And boy did my hair take time. During the first few months of going natural, I did not understand what it entailed- I didn't even know I had to switch out some of my old products nor I did not know that my relaxed hair would get weak and eventually need to be chopped off. I also did not know that I would need Jesus and upper body strength to disentangle my hair without pulling out unnecessary hair. I learned to be patient and grow with my hair. I learned to listen to my hair and learn the products that it would need to grow and the regimens that I would need to adopt so that I don't end up with split ends and broken strands of hair. I began to grow with my hair.
Side note: This is more of an observation than a life lesson: You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Haters lurk on every corner. Even when strangers and people who you think know you best disapprove, as long as it is something that you are passionate about, you have to believe in it.
