Historically Black Colleges and Universities provide mini utopias for African-American students seeking higher education not only about their histories, but about the world around them in all its mediums and methods of study with peers who share a common ancestry. HBCUs create a productive environment that views and perceives the Africana experience and Black excellence as a standard.
Howard University is the Mecca. It is where I have been able to gain knowledge and expertise as a student and where I have been growing into myself as diverse young woman and scholar. It has provided me with the opportunity to be surrounded by a variety of students who come from incredibly diverse backgrounds and experiences. I have been able to learn in one of the few environments in this nation where being Black is something to be revered instead of feared. In fact, I have grown so accustomed to the marvel of Howard that I even began to normalize the African-American identity in this space so much that I was caught off guard to be introduced to a white athletic coach for my very African-American lacrosse team.
Having a non-African-American coach in a predominantly Black environment didn't cause alarm or frustration at all. It isn't uncommon and it isn't a negative thing by any means. However, playing sports for a white coach while at an HBCU placed me in a position to face a series of cultural differences in an intimate setting and in a consistent manner, which resulted in me discovering more about the ability to relate, to empathize, to learn and to be receptive to others than I imagined I ever would. After playing for a year with a white coach at an HBCU, here are five very important lessons I learned:
1. Not all "common sense" is common.
Historically Black Colleges and Universities have a very strong and very distinct culture. There is so much beauty in the politically aware, socially conscious atmosphere that pervades the campuses of Howard university and, presumably, most (if not all) the other HBCUs in the country. At Howard University specifically, the definition and social connotations attached to words like “gentrification” or the historic significance and legacy of events like the Million Man March are both common sense and common knowledge. However, what I’ve learned from my experience with a coach who is disconnected from both the Black experience and the Black community is that it is neither common sense nor common knowledge for a lot of other people. But I can’t really blame my coach. It’s hard to learn about what you never knew you were ignorant of.
2. Ignorance does not always come from a place of malice. Ignorance comes from not knowing or a lack of the desire to know.
It is common for someone to be ignorant to aspects of a given culture, heritage, tradition, etc. if he or she does not relate to, belong to or have some understanding of it. To be fair, it is hard to be aware and knowledgeable about things you were never taught.
In order to combat ignorance, there has to be both a willingness on one part to educate others and on the other, the urge to learn and to be educated. This became incredibly clear during my time with a coach who, although initially unaware of her ignorance to many things, has found a way to learn and to continue asking questions in order to create the environment of mutual understanding and cultural education. Practice for us became not only an arena of hard work physically, but it also became a space where, on days where she had a question about how box braids differ from faux locs or what exactly a natural hair regimen entails, she was safe to ask.
3. Communication and receptivity are invaluable.
You cannot build a relationship with anyone without some established common ground and mutual respect. When it came to my relationship with my coach I began to learn just how important it was to communicate so as to resolve misunderstandings and to have receptivity to one another’s needs, desires and opinions. Where our relationship faltered was in the aspects of our differing background and experiences. Conflict arose through what I perceived to be her lack of receptivity to the ways I wished to be treated and communicated with and where I failed in resolving conflict was in my inability to successfully communicate my discomfort with what I assumed to be her inability to be receptive to me as a young, strong-minded multi-racial woman; however, I really can’t expect her to know how I feel unless I tell her. In reality, where receptivity fails, communication should be there to fill the gap.
4. In order to teach, you must also be willing and able to learn.
Historically Black Universities have a history, a tradition, and a legacy that young African American students uphold and pass forward every day. The culture of Howard is something that is hard to understand unless you’ve lived it. My coach, coming in without any knowledge of what it means to be a Howard Woman, had a lot to learn. And me, as a young lacrosse playing student-athlete focused more on the world around me than my performance on the field had a lot to learn from a seasoned player. With everything I felt I could teach my coach and everything I knew she had come to Howard to teach me and my teammates, it only makes sense that we both needed to humble ourselves and become open to the knowledge we both have to share. Before trying to impart our presumed invaluable knowledge on the other, we both needed to realize that in order to teach others, we needed to be able to listen, to process, and to learn from those around us. No relationship is one-sided and although she is in a teaching position as my coach, there has been and will continue to be many opportunities for us to teach and to learn from each other. In order for her to understand how to coach me as a player, it is important that she understands who I am as a woman. And in order for me to be the best player I can be, it is important that I learn from someone who has been in and grown from a similar position.
5. Cultural differences, although may be substantial, should not be insurmountable.
The greatest obstacle I faced with my coach rested within our culturally different backgrounds. The ways in which I was raised and taught to think, to be spoken to, the ways in which I learned to carry myself, the ways I expect to be perceived, my views, my values, my opinions and my beliefs all come from my ethnic and cultural background. In instances where I am placed in a relationship that relies on an authoritative and a submissive dynamic, the ability to relate to the way I think and where I come from can make all the difference in the world. Fortunately, where my coach and I have found most growth in our relationship has been within our ability to overcome the differences in our backgrounds, our values, and differences in opinion and thought in order to create a dynamic on the field that works for the both of us.
