The rare and elusive female INTJ. Depending on your attentiveness and surroundings, you may be more likely to spot a unicorn. For those unaware of this species, INTJ is one of the 16 personality types generated by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This particular result of the introspective personality test indicates a tendency towards introversion over extraversion, intuition over sensing, thinking over feeling and judging over perceiving. More information on the types and what they mean is available here. Taking the test is highly recommended, and with jokes like how many of each type it takes to change a lightbulb, it's quite entertaining.
A result of INTJ is rare for women. According to careerplanner.com, they represent less than 1 percent of the population. Often dubbed the mastermind or strategist, INTJs are a force to be reckoned with. Nevertheless, the rarity of the female INTJ can cause some classic misunderstandings.
1. "You're too quiet."
INTJs are extremely intelligent and approach their passions with gusto. However, if they aren't interested or don't have anything to contribute to the conversation, then they won't. What a concept! Indeed, they are masters of communicating clearly and efficiently. This means they won't sugarcoat it for you or beat around the bush. It's only logical. A woman is often expected to be bubbly, whereas "a man of few words" is respected. Well, meet the woman of few words. Nothing is wrong with her; she simply likes to make her words count.
2. "Shut up."
It can be pretty rare for INTJs to find someone who shares one of their passions. The things that interest them excite them more than other types may be able to understand. They think about these things extensively, a trait often glaringly apparent. Once you get them started, it can be hard to shut them up. It's like a switch. They will either bore you with silence or talk your ear off. Choose wisely, and prepare to have a few knowledge bombs thrown in your direction.
3. "You have the emotional capacity of a rock."
INTJs aren't the most emotionally intelligent. They usually make up for this with this with significant intuition and are actually one of the types most willing to work on a relationship. It takes time for them to identify and process their own emotions, a trait that does not at all fit into the expressive female stereotype. As a result, they often come off as cold, uncaring or unfeeling. They do have emotions, but they aren't usually driven by them. When they are, their emotions powerful and run deep. They are expressed differently, and that is OK.
4. "You haven't thought this through."
Wrong! INTJs examine all possibilities before coming to a decision. They are so efficient and skilled in this that other types often believe they have not thought things through. This is far from the truth.
5. "No need to be so harsh."
INTJs expect perfection of themselves and less of others. However, they are often hig achievers and can get frustrated by others' shortcomings. The mix of efficient communication and seeing the world through an almost completely logical lens can lead to some tough truths. They do not aim to hurt; they just don't see the point in being indirect. INTJs don't lead with care or sympathy. They take the best path to achieve a goal. It may not be the most "feminine" approach by some definitions, but it does not make a female INTJ any less of a woman.
Yes, an INTJ woman is a rare breed. However, this doesn't make her any less of a woman. She doesn't fit the old-fashioned definition of femininity, but why should she have to? More power to her for being who she is. She is not emotional. She is not sensitive. She is direct. She is independent. She is confident. Treat her like a person, and don't expect her to fit into a box. She likes to break the mold.
