5 Cures To Recover From Spring Break 2016

5 Cures To Recover From Spring Break 2016

Since you obviously need it.

The sunlight peeks through the window blinds and as you slowly arise from the comfortable spot next to a lovely puddle of vomit—

"What in God's name happened?" you think.

Spring break happened. Responsibilities are just hours away and in that moment, you regret accepting the drinks that were borderline suspicious. Luckily, here are some ways to help you get passed those pesky headaches and the morning panic of your unattended hygiene.

1. Peppermint Oil

If you're experiencing headaches, rub peppermint oil on your temples. Topically, this is a temporary pain reliever that provides cooling sensations and a soothing aroma. Grab this oil in liquid or solid form at a natural grocery store.

2. Sleep

Chances are you consecutively partied throughout your entire spring break vacation spot, so your sleep schedule is a bit out of control. Remember, you don't need the continuous eight hours of sleep. Naps are just as effective. Just try to fit in those recommended eight hours.

3. Hydration

While you were out drinking, you suffocated your liver with Dos Equis, Smirnoff, Jack and Malibu. Make sure to recover your body fluids with water and tea. This will allow rehydration and flushing of toxins out of your system. Also, it helps to go on a detox cleanse with citrus-fruit infused water and green smoothies.

4. Stretching

To help relieve muscle pain or fatigue, stretching is a great solution. Try isometric stretching to target a particular muscle group.

5. Shower

Feeling clean will instantly make you feel a bit better, appearance wise. Take care of the hygiene you most likely neglected during your week of spring break. Brush your teeth and gargle with mouthwash, step into a hot shower and contemplate on how you'll recover the $300 you wasted within one week. Smh.

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The New Era of the Period

You Know You Want to Know

We've all heard of them. Whether you're totally disgusted, intimidated or fascinated, you can't deny, you've definitely been curious about them. Well, here's what it's all about in seven brutally honest steps.

1. Reading the instructions.

This looks so easy. I totally have this. I just need to fold it like this. All right. Here we go.

2. Putting it in.

How the actual fuck am I supposed to get this in my body. I literally cannot. Maybe if I fold it like this...? NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. ABORT. I've been in this restroom for a solid ten minutes. I just need to shove it up there at this point. Okay. Here we go.

3. It's in.

Wow. This is great. I feel nothing. Watch me do this split just because I can. Holy fucking yes. I need to tell everyone about this. Everyone needs to know. My body is a temple. I am freaking Wonder Woman. NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!!!

4. Taking it out.

Okay so I just pull this spout and "gently pull." This is grea---where. the. fuckity. is. the. spout. I can't find it. Oh, there it is.

5. It's not coming out.

I CANNOT get this out.

6. Mental breakdown.

I'm going to have to birth this out. I can't get it. This is bad. This is really really bad. It's up there forever. I'm going to have to go to the ER to get someone to pull this thing out of me. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I have to call my mom. She always knows what to do. No answer. I need to go to the ER. I can't get this out. I'm crying right now.

7. Celebration.

Wow. It's out. I'm so glad that I didn't actually go to the ER to have someone pull this out. I feel so free. I am never going back to tampons again. This is incredible. I'm saving the planet. I'm saving so much money. Just gonna pop this back in now. I am a new woman. HERE I COME WORLD.

Cover Image Credit: wikimedia

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I Looked Out The Window, And Here's What I Saw: A Tribute To JSU

I look out the window, and I see home.

I looked out the window, and I saw a sunrise as my alarm clock rang in my ears and beat on my eardrums. I see the tall buildings that stand carved with Greek architectural designs. I see students making their way to class, by car, by foot, by bike; whether they are trying anxiously to make it on time, or they are trying to take their time. I looked out the window, and I saw a normal day at Jacksonville State University.

I looked out the window and saw a storm brewing. It seems like everything is suspiciously calm before disaster hits; perhaps that’s why they call it “the calm before a storm”. I looked out the window, and I saw the sky immersed with ominous, dark clouds. I began to hear the wind howl and the rain tick, harder and harder with minutes passing. I looked out the window and felt worry run through my veins as the weather started to pick up.

I can no longer look out the window because I am out the window. That window is now part of total destruction. I stand outside the window and see my home in pieces. I see glass shattered, trees down, roofs missing. I see my heart breaking as my home away from home is now scattered everywhere. I see faces of distraught, dismay. I see people overwhelmed with emotions as they have lost almost everything, yet can still find it in them to be grateful because they are indeed alive. I see cars totaled. I see those Greek buildings with a chunk taken out of them.

However, outside the window, I see communities coming together. I see people taking others in, giving out donations, doing whatever they can to help us rebuild. I see people putting in overtime to help restore power, buildings, and anything else to ensure the safety of citizens. I see people waking up at the crack of dawn to help with the clean-up of the town. I am reminded of why I chose JSU to begin with.

One day, my window will be back. I will be able to look outside the window and see smiling faces. I will be able to see the sunrise as it reveals a beautiful, reconstructed campus. I will be able to see the sunset as it kisses us goodnight. The bells that ring whenever it hits an hour will be pleasing and not dreadful. I’ll look outside the window, and I’ll see home.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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