This winter break, I zipped back up the bright neon safety vest and strapped on the black gloves that I took up in the summer and returned to my job as a Sort Associate at Amazon.
Yes. That Amazon.
As I'm writing this, I'm currently sleep-deprived, my upper legs are somewhat sore and my email is flooded with many opportunities to 'pick up extra hours' this peak holiday season.
So I figured, why the hell not write this little list that many Amazon workers will relate to.
1. People look at you in awe when you tell them where you work.
Amazon is a very discreet workplace. There's absolutely NO technology allowed on the warehouse floor and nearly all the warehouses are standing unmarked.
Because of this, when you tell people you work at Amazon (the same company where people allegedly pee in water bottles) they look at you like you just served in a decades-long war, fighting off the barbarians with their dragons.
While the job can be back-breaking and annoying at times, it's still definitely manageable.
But it's fun when everyone thinking of you as a hero, right?
2. Thinking 50,000 packages to sort is nothing.
Amazon uses the term "Peak" to describe the seemingly never-ending packages that need to be processed for the next morning.
Off-Peak, the daily volume of packages can range from 18,000 to 25,000, which in retrospect isn't all bad with the huge crew you work with.
Come Peak, it can range from AT LEAST 32,000 to 50,000. That's right. Up to 50,000 in one night.
But you know your crew, and with the right mindset, it definitely can be done.
3. Having a romantic relationship with caffeine.
Eighty-five percent of Amazon workers work overnight and into the morning.
For example, in the summer I worked 11:15 p.m. to 5:45 a.m., and this winter I'm working at 2 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
As you can probably imagine, countless workers at Amazon (including myself) rely on sugar and caffeine to keep going. Whether it be coffee, Redbull, or just pure processed sugar, every ounce of that juice helps.
4. Your ears perk up when you hear those three glorious letters: VTO.
When things slow down, Amazon management allows most of its workers to head home early, rather than watch them stand there and do nothing.
It's called Voluntary Time Off, or VTO, and believe me when I say when someone says "VTO?" it's like Pavlov's dog and a bell. It's the most vindicating thing to here after a hard day's night.
5. Sitting in pedestrian traffic when "picking and staging."
After things are sorted in delivery bags and oversize racks, we then begin the process of picking and staging the volume for the drivers to deliver. We load them onto these U-shaped carts and then stage them at certain areas around the warehouse perimeter.
The problem is that moving these carts in such congested corridors and parking them in the middle of the commotion makes picking and staging a true pain.
Trust me, you'd rather be stuck in highway traffic than pick-and-stage traffic.
6. Getting all "I Love Lucy" diverting packages in the correct lanes.
Remember that scene from "I Love Lucy" when Lucy struggles to keep up packaging the chocolate on the conveyor belt so she sticks them in her mouth?
Or in "Drake and Josh" in the same scenario except with sushi? That's what it could be like at Amazon, especially as the packages come rushing down the conveyor belt. At my warehouse, we have to divert the unloaded packages into five designated lanes, and you don't want to keep screwing up, because your Process Assistant will flip off on you.
