With today's media, relationship trends are in the spotlight. Everyone keeps up with their OTP (one true pairing) in the latest popular television shows, movies, and even books. With the way many relationships are displayed and with the lack of information taught about abusive relationships, we are setting up a way for the younger generations to romanticize this abuse and for it to be their "relationship goals." We shouldn't allow for the youth to believe that it is okay to have your heart broken a million times in a relationship or for anyone to treat them any less than perfect just because the media shows it as okay to do. This also opens gateways for people to begin abusing their partners and thinking it is okay because that one super popular couple in our favorite television show did it. Here are some of the top abusive relationships that have been romanticized in the media lately (that definitely shouldn't be).
1. Chuck and Blair
Gossip Girl aired from 2007 to 2012, but movie/television streaming companies, such as Netflix, still have it so viewers can watch it. Chuck Bass definitely has a dark side and the bad boy look that girls long for, but there were a few episodes where he actually went over the rails. Chuck humiliated Blair multiple times throughout the show with sexual language, disrespectful statements, and even trading her body to his uncle to help save his hotel. Trading Blair to his uncle to save his hotel was using her as if she was just a sexual object or even just a piece of Chuck's property. After Blair went over to Chuck's to let him know of her and the Prince's engagement, she found him drunk and was wanting to help him realize that it wasn't realistic for them to be together. While Blair was over, Chuck grabs Blair and forces himself upon her, claiming she will never marry anyone else because she is "his." Chuck then shoves Blair down and punches the glass above her, which shatters and cuts her cheek. Chuck was extremely possessive and jealous throughout their displayed relationship. Let's also not forget about when he assaulted Little J and Serena in the pilot episode.
2. Edward and Bella
Once again, a character is given the excuse to be abusive just because they are a troubled soul. Edward preys upon Bella's low self esteem and enjoys the fact that he has the ability to make the decisions in the relationship. Bella loves the fact that Edward is a guy that she isn't supposed to have and she finds the dangerous settings in their relationship to be thrilling. Edward constantly isolates Bella and their relationship moves very fast. Like Chuck, Edward is also very possessive, controlling, and jealous throughout the series. Edward left Bella, heartbroken, if anyone remembers, and even threatened to basically commit suicide since he could no longer have her. Edward was violent when he didn't get his way and the entire relationship was unhealthy.
3. Anastasia and Christian
With Fifty Shades Darker coming to theaters soon and since Fifty Shades of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfiction, I figured I might as well add in this obviously abusive relationship. No, I am not just using the fact that BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) is heavily portrayed in the movie as the excuse that it is an abusive relationship. There are a lot of the same characteristics that Edward portrayed that is shown with Christian throughout the serious. Christian is a Class A narcissist who enjoys having control over every aspect of Anastasia's life while using intimidation to make sure she knows who is in charge. Christian stalked her throughout the series. Stalking is not always the typical man in the shadows or hiding behind a bush. He would show up unexpectedly at her place, work, and repeatedly calls her even when she doesn't want to talk to him. There was also a lot of what could be considered to be non-consensual sexual advances throughout the series. Christian doesn't respect what Anastasia is comfortable with doing and will coerce her into doing things when she doesn't want to, asking multiple times, and sometimes even lashing out when he does not get what he wants.
4. Harley Quinn and the Joker
Whether it is in Suicide Squad or Batman: the Animated Series, there were a lot of abusive traits in this idolized relationship. Harley Quinn is extremely obsessed and dependent on the Joker. There are multiple scenes in Batman where Harley Quinn is choked, striked, and pushed by the Joker. There was a deleted scene from Suicide Squad released where Harley Quinn confronts the Joker with a gun, where he eventually gets her to put it down and strikes her across the face. They, then, get in the same car together and begin driving. Even though it can still be seen as a somewhat healthy relationship in Suicide Squad, longtime Batman fans know that the Joker could care less about Harley Quinn when she is not doing anything to benefit him and she is just enamored with him because when she is doing something that he likes, he tricks her into believing that he loves her as a way to use her. Suicide Squad did not accurately portray the couple and to shorten this, the Joker is just an abusive boyfriend and the relationship should not be romanticized.
5. Damon and Elena
While Damon does have his grand romantic gestures at times, I can never get over how the sire bond just made it seem like Elena had to do everything that Damon told her to which makes it seem like she was happy and careless about it, when she actually just didn't know. It always seemed like Damon expected Elena to be more like Katherine. He threatened (multiple times) to kill her and turn her into a vampire, kill her friend(s), and even her brother. He was abusive towards Caroline in the beginning of the series. Damon controlled Elena a lot and was even physically abusive at times. He would compel her and her mind into thinking and dreaming things that were not actually happening or make her forget things at his convenience.
Romanticizing relationships can be dangerous. When you do so, you sometimes ignore the negative aspects in the relationship and begin to take on some of those traits in your own. Know what you're worth and what you deserve. Never let someone disrespect you because the media said it's okay - it's not!