When I began college at Truman State University in the Fall of 2016, a lot of great people gave me a lot of great advice. But by far, the greatest wisdom I received was from people in college who really were in the thick of it. I don't know if my words as a sister hold anywhere close to that weight, but I have to try. So, little brother, here are some things I want you to know before you head off to the big, bright, messy college world of frat parties, disgusting bathrooms, and 7 a.m. classes.
1. Get a good phone case. You'll drop your phone. Someone will step on it. You'll drop it in the toilet or sink or urinal.
2. Don't hide alcohol — yours or anyone else's — in your fridge. That is the first place that they will check. Don't hide it in your body, either. Your body is an open container.
3. Go to class. Even if there are no attendance points, this is college. You can't ace a class you don't attend. And chances are, if a professor recognizes you, they'll be nicer when it comes to rounding your grade.
4. Call Mom, even if it's only for a few minutes, daily. She misses you. And you'll get to hear the smile in her voice which is basically one of the best remedies for when you're homesick.
5. You'll get homesick. It's OK.
6. Go see the university therapist if you need to. There's no shame in needing help. We all do.
7. Do your laundry, and use detergent. Febreeze doesn't count.
8. Don't do anything you don't want to.
9. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.
10. Don't do anything that would give your parents a heart attack if they knew.
11. It's never 'one time.' Anything can become an addiction.
12. Don't be a pushover; don't let people walk all over you; don't let anyone do anything to you. You make your own decisions and other people can get over it.
13. Stand up for yourself, but don't be a jerk about it.
14. If you go enough parties or stay for long enough, someone will puke on or very close to you. Be a nice guy about it. Yeah, it's gross. Get over it and clean yourself up.
15. Don't join a fraternity because everyone's doing it. Do it because you want to.
16. Not all choices should be based on logic. Listen to your emotions.
17. Not all choices should be based on emotions. Listen to logic.
18. Get a planner and start using it like, three weeks ago. You won't remember that event you think you'll remember. Write it all down. Planning apps work, too.
19. Be honest with mom and dad. They're more open than you might think.
20. You'll meet a girl, and she might have a boyfriend. Give it some time, and they're more likely than not to break up.
21. Don't be worried when you see a girl washing her face in the men's bathroom. You're still a man. Move on with life.
22. Don't ask a girl what sorority she's in if you don't have something nice to say about every. single. option.
23. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
24. When the girl with a unicorn onesie riding a bike with flames on it to her 7 a.m. class talks to you, talk back. She knows what she's doing.
25. Don't talk about high school. No one cares.
26. Professors don't 'go back' on slides. Take a picture and record your lectures.
27. Don't be afraid to ask people to pay for their own food.
28. I'm a text or a phone call away.
29. If you get drunk, don't drunk call your ex.
30. If you're going out, write a sober friend's number on your arm. When you pass out, they'll know who to call.
31. Everyone is nice in the beginning.
32. You belong in an organization.
33. No girl falls for the insensitive jerk. Except for the ones who do.
34. Girls can and will try to use you. Don't let them.
35. Mute the group chats you don't care about. Don't leave group chats.
36. Don't go to parties in groups of more than 5, or you'll annoy the hosts.
37. Have at least one sober person for every two drunks.
38. No one has to let you into anything.
39. Use open lab time.
40. If you play too much beer pong, you'll be asked to leave. Don't be that guy.
41. Be the kind of guy that stands up for girls. That's the kind of guy girls fall for.
42. If a girl asks you to pretend to be her boyfriend, for a little while, do it. Chances are there's a creep following her and she trusts you to protect her.
43. Surround yourself with people who deserve you.
44. Never get so drunk that you are at the mercy of others.
45. Remember I love you.
