Procrastination. For the most part, we all do it. Unless you're some super human who doesn't procrastinate, in which case please tell me your secrets! But assuming you're not a super non-procrastinating human, we all procrastinate, some people (especially me) do it way more than others. By this point in the semester, you may have run out of ways to procrastinate, but fear not! Being the master at procrastination I am, I have put together a list of all the ways you can procrastinate.
1. Sit down and set up your desk just right to promote maximum productiveness.
2. Pull out every syllabus and make a to-do list of everything that needs to get done.
3. Color code that list by class using pretty colored pens.
4. Realize you don't have pretty colored pens so go to Target for a quick trip.
5. Swear to yourself you will only get pens and will spend no more than $20.
6. Spend two hours and $150 at Target on pens, Starbucks, food, dorm accessories, clothes, shoes and random stuff from the inappropriately named dollar section.
7. Get back to your room and regret how much you just spent, vowing to manage your money better.
8. Call your mom and ask her how to manage money.
9. Talk to your mom for 45 minutes about everything under the sun including, but not limited to: how much homework you have, how stressed you are, boy drama, that girl you can't stand, how hungry you are, how much you miss her, etc.
10. Realize that talking to your mom about what she's cooking for dinner has made you hungry and in order to do homework you need brain food!
11. Go to the dinning hall to grab dinner to take back.
12. Run into friend/classmate/etc and sit down "for a few minutes."
13. Realize "a few minutes" has turned into an hour.
14. Apologize and run back to your dorm, swearing you'll still have time to get everything done.
15. Open up your computer and place it on your perfectly arranged desk. Be sure to admire your handy work.
16. While your computer starts, open Snapchat and scroll through people's stories.
17. Take a selfie, add a fun filter and send to friends.
18. Notice computer has started and open web browser and Microsoft Word.
19. Type your name and title before logging on to check your email/Blackboard/Facebook/Twitter/etc.
20. Realize its suddenly 8 p.m. and you've accomplished nothing.
21. Find the perfect playlist for being productive and turn it on.
22. Type approximately three sentences before texting best friend and telling them how stressed out you are.
23. Text back and forth comparing your stress levels.
24. Try to research more about your topic only to see an ad for your favorite store.
25. Take a "quick look" at said store's website and fill your shopping cart with 43 things you definitely can't afford.
26. Freak out about how late it is and type another paragraph or two.
27. Run out of things to say so open Facebook.
28. Watch some videos of hairstyles you could never do and attempt to do them.
29. While trying said styles, realize how greasy your hair is so take a shower.
30. Have a brainstorming session in the shower and come up with "so many" things to write about.
31. Write down all the things only to realize they cover half a page.
32. Pull out a ton of quotes to add to the paper to make it longer.
33. Reword everything in the longest, most drawn out way possible.
34. Admire your work.
35. Realize you have only two pages instead of five.
36. Consider dropping out of school.
37. Check Facebook again while you calm down.
38. Look at the clock and it's past midnight.
39. Realize how exhausted you are.
40. Contemplate not doing the paper.
41. Calculate your grade if you don't do the paper.
42. Finish the paper not caring about the grade because hey, at least it's done.
43. Pass out on your bed and vow to sleep forever...or until your alarm goes off in six hours
And repeat cycle.
