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40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

No, but seriously.

Asela Lee Kemper

Sep 06, 2016

Southern Oregon University

365

40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

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1. Trypophobia

I'm not going to share a picture of it. You'll thank me later.

2. People who can't take "no" for an answer.

3. Being late for work

4. Haunted Houses

5. Houses that look old and beautiful but nobody lives there

6. Horror films and TV series

I don't care if the movie has a 0.01% rating on Rotten Tomato or the trailer is laughable--horror. Movies do not sit well with me. (Except I'm interested in "Stranger Things"...)

7. American Horror Story series

Though I give props to Ryan Murphy, the story and their cast trailers.

8. Wasps

9. An ad featuring someone peeling their face with their hands

10. An ad featuring a woman who looks skeletal but with creepy make-up and smile

11. Close-up shots of whatever-it-is-I-don't-want-to-know on someone's skin

12. Finding a porcelain doll at night

13. Hearing unusual sounds at night

14. Sleeping alone while hearing unusual sounds at night

15. Hotels

(Thanks a lot AHS: Hotel.)

16. Jump Scares

For you're someone I know, don't you dare.

17. My favorite character on a TV show get screwed by the villan

18. My favorite character on a TV show gets killed

19. Watching a fictional character's face get melted while they scream in terror

20. Finding myself thinking about murderous things (in a bad way)

21. My conscious bullying me

22. Thinking about how terrible I am to the point where I lose confidence

23. Almost losing my flashdrive with all my writings in it

24. Someone dressed up as the clown from "It"

25. Someone dressed up as The Red Devil from "Scream Queens"

26. Someone dressed up as (but is actually) a killer

27. When someone says "Black Lives Don't Matter" or "All Lives Matter" without hearing the other side of the argument

28. When someone is making Islamophobic comments.

29. When someone is ignorant to LGBTQ+ community and many minority groups.

30. Horror mysteries someone posted on Tumblr

31. Unsolved murder cases

And yet, there I was watching Buzzfeed's Unsolved series. Blame childhood memories of watching murder mystery TV series.

32. Rape

33. When someone is ignoring the fact that rape exists.

34. Chad Future

If you've been a fan of K-Pop for a long time like me, you may know who this person is.

35. Double standards in K-Pop

36. Cultural Appropriation

37. Hilary Clinton

38. Donald Trump

39. 2016 Presidential Election

And most importantly...

40. Adulthood

But we all have to go through it--whether we like it or not.

Except for wasps because...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

No, but seriously.

1. Trypophobia

2. People who can't take "no" for an answer.

3. Being late for work

4. Haunted Houses

5. Houses that look old and beautiful but nobody lives there

6. Horror films and TV series

7. American Horror Story series

8. Wasps

9. An ad featuring someone peeling their face with their hands

10. An ad featuring a woman who looks skeletal but with creepy make-up and smile

11. Close-up shots of whatever-it-is-I-don't-want-to-know on someone's skin

12. Finding a porcelain doll at night

13. Hearing unusual sounds at night

14. Sleeping alone while hearing unusual sounds at night

15. Hotels

16. Jump Scares

17. My favorite character on a TV show get screwed by the villan

18. My favorite character on a TV show gets killed

19. Watching a fictional character's face get melted while they scream in terror

20. Finding myself thinking about murderous things (in a bad way)

21. My conscious bullying me

22. Thinking about how terrible I am to the point where I lose confidence

23. Almost losing my flashdrive with all my writings in it

24. Someone dressed up as the clown from "It"

25. Someone dressed up as The Red Devil from "Scream Queens"

26. Someone dressed up as (but is actually) a killer

27. When someone says "Black Lives Don't Matter" or "All Lives Matter" without hearing the other side of the argument

28. When someone is making Islamophobic comments.

29. When someone is ignorant to LGBTQ+ community and many minority groups.

30. Horror mysteries someone posted on Tumblr

31. Unsolved murder cases

32. Rape

33. When someone is ignoring the fact that rape exists.

34. Chad Future

35. Double standards in K-Pop

36. Cultural Appropriation

37. Hilary Clinton

38. Donald Trump

39. 2016 Presidential Election

And most importantly...

40. Adulthood

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Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

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