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40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

No, but seriously.

Asela Lee Kemper

Sep 06, 2016

Southern Oregon University

365

40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

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1. Trypophobia

I'm not going to share a picture of it. You'll thank me later.

2. People who can't take "no" for an answer.

3. Being late for work

4. Haunted Houses

5. Houses that look old and beautiful but nobody lives there

6. Horror films and TV series

I don't care if the movie has a 0.01% rating on Rotten Tomato or the trailer is laughable--horror. Movies do not sit well with me. (Except I'm interested in "Stranger Things"...)

7. American Horror Story series

Though I give props to Ryan Murphy, the story and their cast trailers.

8. Wasps

9. An ad featuring someone peeling their face with their hands

10. An ad featuring a woman who looks skeletal but with creepy make-up and smile

11. Close-up shots of whatever-it-is-I-don't-want-to-know on someone's skin

12. Finding a porcelain doll at night

13. Hearing unusual sounds at night

14. Sleeping alone while hearing unusual sounds at night

15. Hotels

(Thanks a lot AHS: Hotel.)

16. Jump Scares

For you're someone I know, don't you dare.

17. My favorite character on a TV show get screwed by the villan

18. My favorite character on a TV show gets killed

19. Watching a fictional character's face get melted while they scream in terror

20. Finding myself thinking about murderous things (in a bad way)

21. My conscious bullying me

22. Thinking about how terrible I am to the point where I lose confidence

23. Almost losing my flashdrive with all my writings in it

24. Someone dressed up as the clown from "It"

25. Someone dressed up as The Red Devil from "Scream Queens"

26. Someone dressed up as (but is actually) a killer

27. When someone says "Black Lives Don't Matter" or "All Lives Matter" without hearing the other side of the argument

28. When someone is making Islamophobic comments.

29. When someone is ignorant to LGBTQ+ community and many minority groups.

30. Horror mysteries someone posted on Tumblr

31. Unsolved murder cases

And yet, there I was watching Buzzfeed's Unsolved series. Blame childhood memories of watching murder mystery TV series.

32. Rape

33. When someone is ignoring the fact that rape exists.

34. Chad Future

If you've been a fan of K-Pop for a long time like me, you may know who this person is.

35. Double standards in K-Pop

36. Cultural Appropriation

37. Hilary Clinton

38. Donald Trump

39. 2016 Presidential Election

And most importantly...

40. Adulthood

But we all have to go through it--whether we like it or not.

Except for wasps because...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

40 Situations That Make Me Say 'Not Today, Satan'

No, but seriously.

1. Trypophobia

2. People who can't take "no" for an answer.

3. Being late for work

4. Haunted Houses

5. Houses that look old and beautiful but nobody lives there

6. Horror films and TV series

7. American Horror Story series

8. Wasps

9. An ad featuring someone peeling their face with their hands

10. An ad featuring a woman who looks skeletal but with creepy make-up and smile

11. Close-up shots of whatever-it-is-I-don't-want-to-know on someone's skin

12. Finding a porcelain doll at night

13. Hearing unusual sounds at night

14. Sleeping alone while hearing unusual sounds at night

15. Hotels

16. Jump Scares

17. My favorite character on a TV show get screwed by the villan

18. My favorite character on a TV show gets killed

19. Watching a fictional character's face get melted while they scream in terror

20. Finding myself thinking about murderous things (in a bad way)

21. My conscious bullying me

22. Thinking about how terrible I am to the point where I lose confidence

23. Almost losing my flashdrive with all my writings in it

24. Someone dressed up as the clown from "It"

25. Someone dressed up as The Red Devil from "Scream Queens"

26. Someone dressed up as (but is actually) a killer

27. When someone says "Black Lives Don't Matter" or "All Lives Matter" without hearing the other side of the argument

28. When someone is making Islamophobic comments.

29. When someone is ignorant to LGBTQ+ community and many minority groups.

30. Horror mysteries someone posted on Tumblr

31. Unsolved murder cases

32. Rape

33. When someone is ignoring the fact that rape exists.

34. Chad Future

35. Double standards in K-Pop

36. Cultural Appropriation

37. Hilary Clinton

38. Donald Trump

39. 2016 Presidential Election

And most importantly...

40. Adulthood

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Don't waste your time trying to write that paper when there are so many more interesting things you could be doing.

1. Meditate

2. Groom yourself

3. Eat lots of chocolate

4. Go for a walk

5. Netflix and chill

Who could be a better friend than your own sister?

1. She's your number one fan…and you're her's.

2. It feels like you guys can communicate telepathically at times with just a look.

3. Fights last for about two minutes because you find something funny and have to show them.

4. Concerts in your car are a regular thing.

5. You have an innumerable amount of inside jokes that are always funny.

6. When she gets clothes it's like you're getting new clothes too.

7. She's seen you at your worst and doesn't judge you…but has taken pictures to remind you.

8. She always knows just what to say to cheer you up…or what food (or drink) to make you if words aren't working.

9. She's the first person to jump to your defense.

10. You have a permanent best friend.

You're gonna make it after all.

1. Google is your best friend.

2. Don't be afraid to say no!

3. Justify your actions/purchases.

4. Call mom.

5. Remember to do things that make you happy.

I'll be the first one to admit I'm addicted to Starbucks.

1. You have a Gold Card

2. You know how to use the mobile app like it’s the back of your hand

3. You mobile order is saved and ready to order with the push of a button

4. The baristas know you by name

5. You can’t get through the day without at least one Starbucks

6. The amount of caffeine that you can consume in a day scares most people

7. Most people around you question why you go to Starbucks everyday

College Edition.

1. Don't Show Off

2. Fit in a Nap

3. Sit and Observe

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