For someone who has been a social butterfly her entire life, it has been extremely hard trying to make friends. In college, friends don’t necessarily come that easy. Yes, in your sorority, it is easy to have 200 sisters, and it is comforting to know that girls are there for you and love you. But on those days where you feel alone and like you’re not making friends, here are four tips that I went to this past weekend that have totally flipped my perspective on life and being lonely:
1. Call your mom
The second I catch myself getting in a super emotional state, the first person I reach out to is my mom. Whether you have the greatest relationship with your mom or not, your mom will offer the best advice. Moms are there to comfort you and to support you. They've been through college, heartbreaks, and have experienced the same struggles you have. It is SO important to remember to call your mom when things get bad.
2. Reach out to anyone and everyone
What I have discovered is that most everyone that you encounter does love you. In college, in order to make friends and not feel lonely, you just have to reach out to everyone. You have to swallow your pride and ask people if you can hang out with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It may seem weird at first, but in all actuality, those people that you are reaching out want you to be a part of their life. They just may not have the confidence or the will to reach out to you. College is about putting yourself out there and learning to be social.
3. Focus on the happy things
You unfortunately are just not going to have 20 best friends after the first six weeks of school. It's hard when you've lived in the same town and have had the same friends your entire life. You're out of the house and living on your own for the first time. Therefore, these feelings are normal. If you just take two steps back and focus on the positive things that are happening in your life, you will realize that though the quantity of those happy things may be smaller, the quality of the things that are going your way will far outweigh the negative aspects.
4. Remember that you are NOT the only one
It may be so easily to feel like it at times. You’re in your room alone and not going out. You turn on your phone and begin seeing social media posts of all the people that are out at parties. But in all reality, social media can make everything look SO good. You are not alone if you are feeling lonely. After these first six weeks of being away, and if you were brave enough to leave your hometown, you are starting to realize that your college is your home. There’s not really a place or a need for you back in your hometown, and that can be a hard realization. But no matter what is going on, you are not alone.
College is hard, and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. It is so important to get connected to different communities in your school and to surround yourself with loving and passionate people. People love you for who you are, so do not get down on yourself. Almost everyone has experienced this at some point in their life, and coming out on the happy end is so rewarding!
