Relationships are great; sharing time, memories, laughter and most importantly love with another person is unlike any other. Getting to know someone inside and out, and loving him or her for who they truly are is so special. However, you don't want to waste your time and effort on the wrong person, and if your partner doesn't have the same intentions and feelings as you, do not, I repeat do not give yourself to that person. They are not the one for you. So with that being said, here are some things that I have learned to not do while in a relationship.
1. Don't try to completely change someone.
I know that we all like to believe a person will change when they're in love; that they will magically become a better and different being. That, unfortunately, is not true. When deciding to be with someone, we must make the conscious decision to accept or not accept who that person is. To ask them to change is just simply not fair to yourself or to your significant other. You will be wasting your time hoping, and they will be wasting their time trying to change. Now this does not mean that people cannot change because they absolutely can. They must want to change for themselves, and you must be there to love and support them. No one can force another person to be different, but you can be there for him or her.
2. Don't accept what you don't deserve.
Don’t let someone treat you poorly just for the sake of love. If a man or a woman loves you, they will show it by their words and actions. They will prove to you on a daily basis just how much they care, even if it’s by a simple “I love you” or a “Don’t forget your umbrella, it’s raining.” However, in any partnership there are going to be things that bother or upset you, but together you work on and fix them. If things are not changing and your significant other continues to hurt and upset you, you don’t have to live with that. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you can allow him or her to treat you like trash. It’s not fair to you. You’re on this earth for such a short amount of time, love someone who treats you well, and who loves you for who you are. I’m sure there is another person out there who is dying to treat you right. Remember, you are the only person in charge of your life; you get to decide what you accept and what you don’t.
3. Don't allow someone to control your happiness.
Joy should come from within. When with another person, happiness should be shared, not controlled. Yes, you can argue and be sad on occasion, but to fully allow someone to control how you’re feeling is unhealthy and not fair to yourself. You have so much to offer to the world; please do not let someone else dictate what you feel and how you feel it.
And lastly...
4. Don't be the only one putting in the effort.
I know you’ve heard this before, but you’re going to hear it again--relationships are a two way street. Both sides should be putting an equal amount of time and effort into the partnership. One person should not be constantly asking to see the other, texting, or calling. Yes I know we get busy, but when you love someone you will make time for him or her. You don’t need to see your significant other every single day (and most couples don’t), but you should still be making time for that person, whether it be a simple phone call or a Skype date. I know that sometimes life gets in the way, but don’t let your significant other suffer because of that.
Relationships are hard work, but they are so worth it. As I said earlier, loving someone and sharing beautiful memories with them is unlike anything else. But please, don’t allow yourself to become someone’s second choice or be treated poorly. You’re worth more than that, and you deserve to be treated like the beautiful person you are. Don’t allow anyone else to tell you differently.
