As I have scrolled through my Twitter and Facebook feeds the last week, I see endless memes describing how awful 2016 was, and hopes of a better 2017. Between family members relocating, family passing away, and the never ending stress of college, and official adulthood just around the corner, I've nearly lost my mind. It could be argued that I actually did lose my mind on a few occasions. 2016 was my worst year, hands down. But 2016 was also my best year. Because I've come so far in finding myself and who I really am. Here's some of the lessons I learned along the way.

1. Prioritize your family.

This one has hit me really hard in the last year. I've always appreciated my family, but I didn't realize how much I chose my social life over my family until they were gone. And by gone I mean literally and geographically. For my parents, each having moved out of state within the last 14 months, their absence weighs on me heavily. Sure, phone calls and text messages are fine mediums of communication, but it's not the same. It especially stings when your friends spontaneously decide to go home for the weekend, and you realize that you can't anymore. For me, it's much more complicated. Flights are involved, or an entire day itself set aside for driving. The worst part is that over a year ago, I could go home anytime I wanted, to either of my parent's homes. So looking back, I want to kick myself for not going as often as I wish I could now. I've always been a social butterfly, and I loved to always be doing things with friends when I was younger. I still appreciate my social life, but I've come to realize that I had it backwards.

My grandfather also passed away this year. Until this, I'd never lost a grandparent, or any immediate family member. I'll never forget the way my heart fell out of my chest when I was told I should get to the hospital immediately. I'll never forget the way my voice got caught in my throat, when I tried to tell my manager I wasn't coming into work. And now that he's gone, I'll never forget how little time I actually spent with him. I wish I could go back and change that, but I can't. This is probably the harshest lesson I've ever learned, as a person that hasn't experienced much loss in her life. For my entire collegiate career, my grandpa was 40 minutes away, and I probably only visited him in person a handful of times, often texting him instead. Now I can do neither.

As much as these things bother me, I've learned a lot about myself, and about life. I know that I still have plenty of loved ones around to prioritize, and I will. I know that I now have a free pass to visit Alaska and North Dakota anytime I want, and it's not considered a vacation, because I'm going "home" to see my parents.

So spend that time with family while you can. People take different paths in life, and you never know when it could be someone's last day. You won't always have the geographical conveniences that you once did, and you never know when your words to someone could be your last.

2. Self-fulfilling prophecies are real.

Too many times in my life have I let myself ruin something good because the past is still eating at me. I have a hard time letting go of my hate or distaste for others. I place blame on the people in my life now, for the crappy things done to me by others in the past. I let assumptions riddle my brain, waiting for someone to let me down. I let comments and actions replay through my head, and in the end I'm only hurting myself. When it's all said and done I'm often left to look back, and reflect on what took place, with a clear mind. Nobody is perfect, and others have faults as well, but it's my own faults that eat at me the most. I've learned that a lot of the times I am so paranoid something will happen, that I actually make it happen myself. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I might just be the queen of them. I'm always worrying about something, or allowing a small thing to become a huge thing, because I can't let it go. Too often have I seen the phrase "If you assume the worst you'll never be disappointed", and too often have I found it relatable. I realize now that it's the worst piece of advice I've ever seen.

So stop worrying about the things you can't change. Don't assume the worst in people, because you'll just end up being disappointed in yourself. Live life, and take each challenge as comes, but never ever try to take on a challenge that doesn't exist. You're going to torture yourself in the process.

3. Stay busy.

I used to be the type that slept until noon on weekends and during summers. Looking back, I have no idea how I did this. It's such a waste of time. In the past year I have been getting up earlier. I've found that the earlier I get up, the more tired I am at night. Which means I fall asleep faster, preventing myself from binge-over-thinking. When you fall asleep quickly, you don't have time to sit and make up possible scenarios in your head. This helps with a lot of anxiety issues as well. I've also found that reading or writing before bed has much better results than scrolling mindlessly through my phone apps. Social media in general is a poison, but it's so widely used that it's hard to escape unless you go off the grid entirely. I deleted my twitter for a few months this year, and I was honestly so much happier. I have it back now, but I don't use it nearly as often. Instead I volunteer for two organizations, I work two jobs, and I am in school. I've never been so busy in my entire life, but I've also improved so much. I still have my flaws, and not everything changes overnight, but my self-awareness is at an all time high, and I'm starting to recognize who I want to be and how I need to get there.

So get out of bed, stay busy, remember that the real world is right in front of you, and no amount of "likes" determine a person's worth.

4. Keep moving.

In one of my classes this past semester, we discussed self-efficacy. The higher your self-efficacy is the more you believe that you have the ability to change the things in your life. If you have low self-efficacy you feel as though outside forces are constantly in control of your life. For a long time, I have had very low self-efficacy. It's depressing to feel that way. Everyone can take steps to make changes in their life. Sure, we cannot always have our way in situations, but changes can always occur.

So don't let yourself take on the role of a victim, or a doormat. You're a person, with abilities, talents, and people that love you. You can always make changes for yourself, and you're not limited to the things that happen to you. Keep moving, keep working hard, and keep achieving.

2016 was filled with so many lessons, but to list them all, I'd have to be sitting here until 2018. So there's the top four, the ones that have impacted me so much this year. The fact is that finding yourself is a journey that only you can take. You may not be alone on the road, but we each have our own routes and destinations. This is why some people come in and out of our lives. Perhaps their route was only the same as yours for a little while. So don't worry about the routes of others. Keep your head up, and focus on the route that was made for you.