Everybody has that family friend that is more like an unwanted family member. Okay, maybe not unwanted just unexpected. Sometimes unwanted, yes, but not all the time. See, the transition from family friend to “relative” is a quick and sneaky process. They go from stopping by the house just to say hi to coming over Saturday nights to watch sports and drink alcohol with your father. I know, right? It’s crazy.
You go from having this guy being your mother’s co-worker to becoming essentially your older brother. But really, it’s not a bad addiction to the family. I can always expect certain things from my “oldest brother.” I was going to say “older brother” but I realized I already have one and don’t want him to get jealous. Anyways, what to expect from your “oldest brother?”
1. The nickname that I assigned you.
Assigned doesn’t sound that nice so I’m going to say the nickname I gave you, I have free reign to use it when and however I please. Of course, I use it for leverage in any situation that I can but deep down inside like deep, deep down, you love the nickname. It makes you feel loved. Just embrace it. Bottom line, expect for your “oldest brother” to let you say his nickname just NOT and I mean NOT in public.
2. He will get your jokes.
It’s probably because he’s not that much older than me but old enough to where I can make fun of for being “old.” It's just like he gets my sense of humor; we are on the same level.
3. If I need a food partner, you are always reliable.
I mean, who else am I going to eat with if nobody else wants to eat with me. Plus you eat just as much as me, actually probably more. So it’s nice to have a fattie partner by my side.
4. If I need a good laugh, you never fail to disappoint.
ESPECIALLY, when you come over on Saturday nights. You intoxicated is the FUNNIEST thing I’ve seen in my life besides my father trying to dance. I will never forget you singing slow jams in our living room.
Just in case you didn’t know, oldest brother, that you are greatly appreciated and more than welcome to be a part of my family. I kinda like having you around when I come home from school and just in general.
