What Bartenders Wish They Could Tell You

What Bartenders Wish They Could Tell You

A peek behind the bar.

Bartending is the quickest money you’ll ever make…legally, of course. Any bartender can attest to it. You pretty much get paid to chat with people and get tipped if you know how to perfectly concoct the cheap liquor and mix.

I will admit, I am new to the bartending world. I am a firm believer that everyone should have to work in some sort of food service, customer service, you know, “dealing with the human race” service. People really can be horrible, rude, and just downright stupid, but the worst part is you cannot even tell them. I mean, you can as you walk out the door getting fired.

Here’s a little insight into the wide world of alcohol from a bartender’s perspective. One night after a brutal shift at your favorite bar, Club OP, I sat up in bed and jotted down some things that basically tore everyone I served that night to shreds. Luckily no names, faces, or identities will be revealed and wallet size reminder cards will be available for sale soon.

After all, we are Bonnies. Friday and Saturday nights are the best times of our lives (Wednesday and Thursday nights too if you are into that type of thing). We work hard all week in hopes of being able to cut back and relax once the last class breaks on Friday.

“Hi what can I get for you?”

“I’ll just have a beer or mixed drink”

Probably the worst statement to be said at a bar. “A beer” isn’t a brand and a “mixed drink” means maybe you have had a little too much already or maybe you’ve never stepped foot in a bar before. A bartender loves a customer that knows what they want and isn’t going to waste their time…so don’t.

I’m fully aware of my name, I write it a thousand times a day, and if I ever forget it I’ll let you know.

You may think screaming my name over and over again at the top of your lungs makes me feel like the Queen of England, but it really makes me want to ignore you for 20 more minutes. I know it’s not difficult to learn someone’s name at this school but if you aren’t going to say hello to me outside of the bar setting or at the very least if you’re not going to like my Instagram posts… do not refer to me like I’ve been invited to your Christmas dinner.

People, please learn how to order a drink.

It does matter my friends. It's simple, follow steps below:

1. Walk up to the bar, wait for the bartender to serve you. Calmly.

2. “Hello, may I have a (INSERT ALCOHOL FIRST) + (MIXER) + PLEASE.”

3. Pay

4. And for the finale, give us a big: "Thank you."

5. Then proceed back to the dance floor and watch people grind like 8th graders.

We notice a lot more than you think we do.

There will always be those people at the bar, try not to be one of them.

* Boy or girl with significant other...not acting like it.

Plain and simple, don’t do something now you’ll regret in the morning. Or worse, don’t give people something to talk about.

* The one guy that keeps trying to start chants.

* The emotional girl at the end of the bar that keeps saying things to me like:

I’m sure he did say something mean or she did give you a dirty look or that freshman did steal the last slice of pepperoni of the counter at Graffiti, but life goes on, girlfriend.

* The anti-social: phone attached to their face.

It’s our generation -- it's physically impossible for us to not be attached to our phones. I can honestly say I have some serious anxiety if I misplace my phone, steal my car before you take my phone! Am I right, or am I right?

* Never ever, ever, has enough money to pay for the drink I already made them.

I get it we’re all a little low on cash in college, but don’t order a drink when you don’t have the funds, friends. PSA: prices do not include tip.

* And my personal favorite, people meeting that night and then..

I mean that’s awesome for you two to have finally been brought together but you’re just making me super uncomfortable.

Now, this wasn’t meant to make you feel less of yourself, it’s for me to think less of you on my own terms...behind the bar...sober…on the weekend. I’m not bitter. So, remember all this when going out this weekend and never forget: the bartender is your friend, who is studying your every move, and judging you, and loving you all at the same damn time. Cheers!

Cover Image Credit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICuDjXx9UT0

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Why You Should Bring Your Close Friend As Your Formal Date

Before asking that cute girl to formal think about asking a friend


Every year since I was a junior in high school I have always looked forward to homecoming or prom. When I got to college I began to look forward to my fraternity formal. I was never concerned with what to wear or the expense of formal but rather who I was going to ask. It can be difficult to make a decision. If you ask anyone friends with me they will tell you how I am one of the most indecisive people out there. There are so many people I am friendly with or have a close relationship that it can feel difficult to make a decision. But let's look at that phrase again. You might think why does he want to bring someone who is his friend to his fraternity formal rather than someone he likes or is dating. To answer this question, some of the girls I have liked I have not been able to be the true me around and that also applies to the girls I have dated as well. I am different around my friends and I want someone to know the real me rather than me just having to pretend.

Maybe I am still experiencing the effects of a fun weekend but I have noticed that every formal or prom that I have brought a date with not only was a fun formal but interacted and connected well with my friends. That is the main thing I look for in a formal date, they need to be liked by my friends and many of them are still pretty friendly after the formal. You are spending the weekend with them and the drive down for you formal. There will be a lot of time spent with your date so it is important to bring someone you know you will have fun with. I am not saying that there isn't anything wrong with bringing someone else but I always found it best to bring a friend if you are not dating someone.

Think about the people you know you will always have fun with. This can be an indication of who you should bring and why but you should also think about the positives in this situation. Your fun and the time spent with the people should be prioritized before anything else. This event is about you and you should have someone with you that you know is fun to be around and someone you can enjoy yourself around along with your friends. Friends know you as well as you know yourself so there is not an idea of having to pretend to be someone else. The good thing about friends is that you do not run out of things to talk about and there is always something new to learn. Take your formal as a trip that you get to experience with the people closest to you. That is my take.

The key for me is to know that I will have fun with my date at formal. The drive to formal can be long and you are sharing a hotel room with your date along with spending time with them during the trip. I talk a lot. I want someone I know who I can carry a conversation with and will not just respond with words such as Yeah or Sounds good. I have always been able to remember not only my formals but specific parts of it as well. I think this is possible because of who I have brought and the memories I made with them.

Formals are important to everyone so think about who you want to spend that moment with. There is nothing wrong with bringing someone who you like but there also is nothing wrong with bringing a friend. Some people might bring someone they are dating but you should not have to compare yourself to other people. Do what makes you happy but remember this weekend is about you and you deserve to bring someone you will have fun with.

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