4 Stages Of Being A Dog Mom

4 Stages Of Being A Dog Mom

#DogMomsMatter
71
views

A little humor on the subject, because being a Dog Mom is a journey unlike any other.

Stage 1: Love At First Sight

There you are, casually walking through the pet section “just for fun,” naturally filled with guilt for all of these puppies who are in need of a fur-ever home. All of a sudden you lock eyes with the one, and there’s no turning back now.

In a matter of minutes you have already decided on the perfect name, picked out what will become his new favorite toys and called your mom to inform her that there’s nothing she can say to stop you from bringing this little ball of fur home with you.

He performs his bodily functions all over the house? No problem, you don’t mind cleaning up after him.

He nibbles at your ankles and fingers? That’s okay, because he’s just so cute.

You are completely, and utterly head over heels for your new bundle of joy, and there’s nothing he could do to change how you feel.

Stage 2: Plausible Deniability

It’s been a few weeks now, and you’re starting to (silently) wish you had listened to your mom when she begged you to reconsider adopting this puppy.

Remember when it was okay that he was biting you, and shitting all over the house? Well, it’s not cute anymore and you’ve just about had it with his disrespect. After all, you rescued him and this is how he repays you?

You’re convinced that he will never learn, and that the rest of your lives together will be a constant battle.

Stage 3: The Breakthrough

A month or so has passed, and you feel as though you can finally breathe again.

He has begun letting you know when he has to go to the bathroom, he has channeled his constant need for biting into rawhides and chew toys rather than your ankles and he has learned some basic commands.

You have stopped condemning yourself for being the worst dog mom in the world, and have finally accepted that raising a puppy was just harder than you expected it to be.

Stage 4: The Ultimate Takeover

You’ve been a dog mom for about a year, and by now you have learned that you are not the one in control anymore.

You find yourself wondering when your dog decided he was allowed to sleep in your bed, or nap on the couch whenever he feels like it.

He has become the King of the house, and despite your efforts to set him in place, you have ultimately surrendered your authority. His happiness means more than anything, and spoiling him has become your priority.

A mom is responsible for raising and maintaining a life, ensuring both health and happiness.

If allowing my dog to sleep in bed with me, and feeding him his favorite human food (Kraft Singles, like most other dogs I presume) every once in a while makes me a bad dog mom; then so be it.

If he is happy, then so am I.

Cover Image Credit: Katherine Murray Photography

Popular Right Now

30 Bee Puns To Get You Through The Day

These puns are as sweet as honey.
121701
views

There are few things in life that make me happier (and/or make me want to bury my face in my hands and groan loudly) than a well timed pun. This goes double if the pun involves some my favorite insects — bees. There's nothing quite as satisfying as uttering a bee pun when no one expects it, so here is a list of the top 30 bee puns around!

Use these puns to make your grandparents laugh, impress your date, spice up your Tinder profile, make friends with a beekeeper, break the ice at your new job or make everyone in the general vicinity wish they hadn't invited you to come hang out with them. You won't bee-lieve how many of these puns you'll be pollen for! You'll bee-come an instant hit at parties! You'll bee sure to thank me later.

1. "When a bee is in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

2. "Bee puns really sting.

3. "Who's a bee's favorite singer? Bee-yoncé."

4. "What's a happy bumblebee's blood type? Bee positive!"


5. "Bee puns aren't that great. I don't get what all the buzz is about."

6. "Wasp are you talking about?"


7. "Naughty bee children really need to beehive."

8. "What kind of bees drop things? Fumble bees!"

9. "A bee's favorite haircut is a buzz cut!"

10. "What do you call a bee that's a sore loser? A cry bay-bee!"


11. "What's a bee's favorite flower? Bee-gonias!"

12. "Why do bees get married? Because they found their honey!"


13. "That bee is talking too quietly, it must be a mumble-bee!"

14. "Bee children take the school buzz to get to school."

15. "A bee's favorite sport is rug-bee."

16. "The bees went on strike because they wanted more honey and less working flowers."


17. "On the first day of class, bee students are given a sylla-buzz."

18. "What did one bee say to the other when they landed on the same flower? Buzz off."

19. "Who's a bee's favorite painter? Pablo Bee-casso!"

20. "A bee styles their hair with a honeycomb."

21. "When a bee writes a sonnet, they're waxing poetic."

22. "The worker bee decided to take a vacation to Stingapore last year."

23. "A bee that's been put under a spell has been bee-witched!"

24. "Say, these bee puns aren't too shab-bee."

25. "That pretentious wasp is just plain snob-bee!"

26. "Why did the bee want to use the phone? To say hi to their honey."

27. "A bee's favorite novel is the Great Gats-bee."


28. "What's a bee's favorite Spice Girls song? Wanna-bee!"

29. "What do bees like with their sushi? Wasa-bee!"

30. "Remember, bee puns are good for your health, they give you a dose of Vitamin Bee!"

Cover Image Credit: Fanaru

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Crunch, Rip, Or Freeze, The Universe Will Cease To Exist

The rule of threes always prevails.

wkhayyo
wkhayyo
84
views

It's innate in human nature to contemplate on our long-term objectives in life: "What career path do I wish to follow?" "Do I want kids?" "What house do I want to live in?" For some, these objectives are within the cusp of their fingertips, while others still have a long road ahead to accomplish them. What we all share is a sense of fate, of the inevitability of the trajectory to which we ceaselessly travel.

Each path we take as humans indubitably leads to an inevitable demise: death. Just as we contemplate what happens when we die, scientists hope to ascertain an understanding of the fate of the vast universe long after we have acquiesced to the void. The uncertainty of if the soul transcends to another realm to meet judgment, or if the soul even exists, science has served as an outlet to theorize the fate of this heavenly realm.

The first modern humans appeared in Africa at approximately 200,000 BCE, but the fact of the matter is our existence is a mere grain of sand to the dune formed at the bottom of the universe's hourglass; the three theories regarding what happens once that final granule falls to the bottom are The Big Rip, Crunch, and Freeze.

The Big Bang is believed to have occurred about 13.7 billion years ago, where the entire mass of the universe began to disperse from an astronomical explosion. The Big Rip is theorized to occur 22 billion years from today and developed by Marcelo Disconzi, assistant professor of mathematics in Vanderbilt University. Collaborating with Thomas Kephart and Robert Scherrer, they discuss the nature of cosmic viscosity and current beliefs of an elusive substance composing the observable universe: dark energy.

Although it was once believed that the universe was infinite, observations have been made of it expanding at an accelerating rate! The vector driving the acceleration of the universe's expansion is coined the term dark energy, yet it is unknown what physical state this is believed to exist in. However, this undetectable substance is believed to comprise 70 percent of the entire universe. Cosmological viscosity—the tendency for the universe to resist contraction and expansion—revolved around Disconzi's as he studied fluid mechanics in neutron stars and supernovae. This led to evidence that the expansion of the universe will be infinite and that cosmic viscosity and dark energy will drive the splicing of all atoms, ripping the universe apart.

Another theory pertaining more towards our understanding of thermodynamics is the Big Freeze, also known as the "Heat Death." Believed to be the most probable and sound in modern physics, it is believed that the entropy or disorder of the universe will continue to increase until it reaches a certain value. This is in concordance with the Second Law of Thermodynamics, stating that the entropy of a system increases with spontaneous processes. The maximum entropy would result in an equal distribution of heat across the universe, making it impossible for viable energy to exist. Matter would be spread so thin the universe would simply become a desolate void.

The most optimistic theory is The Big Crunch, involving the overcoming of gravity in its strife with dark energy. As dark energy has a tendency to accelerate expansion, gravity has a tendency to pull things closer based on mass. Eventually, the force dark energy applies to expand will be overpowered by gravity, resulting in the reversal of the Big Bang as the mass of the entire universe will return to one singularity. In theory, the Big Bang and our universe can simply be one of many iterations of expansion and contraction.

These ideas are of such an incomprehensible scale that it may feel as though your personal goals are at an arbitrary scale. In comparison to the universe, they may seem to play a small role in the gears that grind the cosmos. However, while we're granted the conscious mind, we should make the most of that one grain of sand and feel liberated to raise the stakes in accomplishing our aspirations.

Cover Image Credit:

Pexels

wkhayyo
wkhayyo

Related Content

Facebook Comments