I’m a travel junkie. Anytime, anywhere, I’m there! Huge trip across a few foreign countries or a mini vacation to a random small town in western Oklahoma… I want it all. This weekend, I skipped town to catch a last minute flight to LA. It was a spontaneous trip to see my sister at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, and I’m loving every bit of this trip.
Except it’s one of those trips that stir up ideas in your head and suddenly you find yourself browsing craigslist for rooms up for rent and scrolling through Indeed job boards and dreaming about late nights at the beach and drives up to Sacramento. It’s one of those trips that makes me think about changing my life.
It’s fun to dream about it, and I’m so happy my sister gets to live out her dreams here. But honestly, at the end of the day, even the amazing days, I’m ready to go home. I’m ready to be back in my town, in my house – not to mention I miss my pup like crazy! I’m excited for what I do at home… my job, my writing, my relationships, my classes. It’s a new sensation for me, I’m so used to never having a plan, and never following a set track, always on the fly. The me I was 6 months ago wouldn’t even know the me I am now, and here’s why I’m happy about that:
1. It means I’m not stagnant in life
I’ve always been very passionate about creating movement in life. I never want to look back and think “I’m the exact same person I was last year.” I want to always be reaching for more, always be after experiences and facing challenges; these are the things that make you better, stronger, smarter. Especially as a woman, it’s always been important to me that I don’t just date someone capable, or marry someone capable, but that I am capable, and overcoming the challenges I have has taught me just that. I’m going to nursing school, and that is something I never would’ve expected of myself, and I absolutely love that I can still surprise myself.2. Staying focused on my “track” means I have goals
I like the reward of achieving something I didn’t have before. I have new goals, and I like that they’ve changed. It shows me that I’m growing in who I am and learning what I really want. Not giving up on those goals, or careening off track whenever something interesting pops up also shows me that I’m on a good path – it lets me know that I don’t have to give up on something like habit and history tell me I would’ve.3. It means the relationships I’ve built are valuable
Growing up I had lots of friends, but I only kept a very few close, and even then, I never really had a problem leaving. While it’s most definitely still a learning curve on building and maintaining strong relationships and friendships, the people in my life are valuable, and I don’t want to abandon them like I would’ve in the past without a second thought. I want to stay. I want to build. And I can’t thank my friends enough for how patient and good to me they’ve been in letting me learn this.
4. It means I know where home is
I love going home. Because I have home. I’ve always felt a little displaced, a little absent. Like I live here, but I’m not really here. Except that’s not the case now, and I think about it every time I drive down 169 or grab a cup of coffee at Foolish Things or take pictures down by Guthrie, or run riverside in South Tulsa. I don’t take it for granted, because it’s a feeling I’ve missed for a long time.
Yesterday, my sister and I went to Disneyland and road the Soarin’ ride. It’s a ride where you’re lifted in the air in front of a mega screen that takes you around the world. It’s beautiful and inspiring and makes you want to visit the Pyramids ASAP!! And of course, I hop on google right away to look at pictures and travel ideas and consider the possibilities.
But then I put the phone down, and I live in the moment. Because I will totally go to the Pyramids one day, but not right now. Right now I have other goals, and another track I’m on, and my dream is a little different. Of course I want to live in California sometime! How rad would that be?! But I live in Oklahoma, and it’s the perfect place for me to keep doing this thing… this grow and change and learn and build. I’m an Okie, and I always will be!
