When I openly speak about my mental health to anyone, my coworkers, my family and friends, even strangers, people mark me as a bit crazy. Who wants to just discuss these issues so freely and without filter? Who wants to know about the darkest corners on my worst days? Honestly, nobody might care. But what I am hoping for is to change the stigma of mental health and the way we think and talk about it. Here's why sorry, I am not sorry for how I speak about my mental health.
1.It's my life. I want to talk about it.
I am a naturally open person. I will talk about anything with anyone. Why should this be any different? I want people to know if I am high in the sky or way down in the gutters. It explains my mood, and helps people get why I am the way I am. I am not going to hide how I feel, even if that means saying "It took all the energy I had to even get out of bed today" or "I am feeling so down that I really just want to stay in bed." I want my friends and family to know what's going on in my life, so I will tell them even if it isn't pretty.
2.When I first got diagnosed, I was ashamed.
Let's get this clear- I do not feel that way anymore. I could not be prouder of the progress I've made, and I want everyone to know that. The day my psychiatrist told me I was clinically depressed, I went home and cried. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. 3 days later, I tearfully called my mom and told her. I felt like I had failed everyone by being like this. I couldn't get out of bed for days at a time, I wouldn't wash my hair or clean my house. I was a living potato and I hated it. Today, I have bad days, but I do not let them take over my life and that is something to be PROUD of!
3.I want my younger coworkers and friends to know it's okay to feel like this.
I work with a lot of teenagers, and have friends who are younger than me. I like to think they look up to me, and I want them to know that they have me in their corner at all times. I want them to know they have me to call whenever, even if its 2 am, they can call. I want them to know that they are not alone, and it is okay to be depressed, to be sad, to have anxiety. It is part of life and it happens. They can call whenever and I will always, always be there for a 1am taco bell run or a 1pm walk around the park.
4.I want my story heard
I've been on this roller coaster almost my whole life, and actually diagnosed for 5 of them. I've gotten outstanding help from my therapists, psychiatrists and most importantly- family and friends. I want people to know that. I want people to know how far I have came in 5 years, and how I feel like I am standing on a mountaintop every time I have a good day. This is my life, my story- I am going to share it.
