It's been a whirlwind of a year. As I continue my journey through young adulthood, and as I look back on past years, I can sense how much I've grown mentally and emotionally. Every year, I've attempted some kind of resolution, but have never been able to stick to it for more than a few weeks. Now that the holidays are over and we're about to enter a whole new decade, what better way to hold myself accountable than to write down my new year's resolutions and publish them online for anyone to see? I've taken a serious look in the mirror and have come up with a short list of how I want to see myself change in the new year.
Let's do this thing.
I will believe in my current relationship, but know that it doesn't define me.
Just a little over four months ago, a real sweet redhead took me out to a jazz club downtown, and I've been smittin' ever since. He's smart, he's funny, and he challenges me in the most unexpected ways. I've realized recently that I've had tunnel vision in my past relationships (what few relationships I've had, haha). After my last boyfriend dumped me because we "never had real chemistry," I was absolutely devastated. It took me months to really get back on my feet, but once I did, I started loving myself more. I spent more time with my friends, cooking, reading, and painting -- all things I knew I enjoyed, but had never really developed. Now that I'm in a new relationship, as much as care about him, and as much as I trust he cares about me, I fear that I may lose myself again. In this coming year, I'm making a promise to myself not to let that happen.
I will take genuinely good care of myself.
One morning last month, completely out of the blew, I passed out. Literally, I fell unconscious. One moment I was fine, and the next I was face-planting onto the kitchen floor. Fortunately, my boyfriend was with me and drove me to a health clinic. I explained to the doctor exactly what had happened, but he was dumbfounded. Apparently, some people just pass out with no real explanation, and evidently, I'm one of them. The doctor said it could be anemia, which does run in my family, or it could be lack of proper exercise and nutrition, or it could be nothing. Either way, this incident reminded me how important my health is, so in this upcoming year, I'll be taking care of myself the way I deserve - with proper nutrition, decent sleep, and regular exercise.
I will work to become a better cat mom.
I acquired a small, fluffy kitten over the summer, and he has rocked my world. I love having him around, don't get me wrong. But I was in no way prepared for the responsibilities that came with him. Having him around has required so much of my time, money, and patience. We've dealt with fleas, biting, tearing up furniture, knocking things over, you name it. But, at times, he's also sweet and snugly. I feel like I've let the negatives out-way the positives. In addition to that, I've spent more time away from home than usual and have had to ask friends to pet sit. I've feel like I've been absent and neglectful, and I know that's not good for his growth and development. So in this upcoming year, I want to be more intentional with how I "parent" my little fur ball because I know he deserves better.
I will trust in my own intuition.
One thing about myself that I've never been comfortable with is my ability to believe in my own abilities. Joining an extracurricular on my own? Nah. Deciding on a college major? Yikes. Choosing something to make for dinner? Forget about it! I've always said that I firmly believe women have the same capabilities as anyone else, but I've never believed that of myself. In 2020, I want to know who I am, trust in that person, and have the confidence and strength that I know I'm capable of obtaining.
