Growing up, whenever I did something remotely cool or impressive, other adults would tell my mom "Your son's going places.” She would smile and thank them for the kind words, so I assumed the phrase should be taken as a compliment. However the more I thought about it, I realized that saying someone’s “going places” is about as ambiguous as telling someone “Thanks. It means a lot.” There’s a cloak of mystery and vagueness around it that I’d like to dispel. What places do you see me going to? Why do you think I'm on my way there? What makes you an authority to comment on the trajectory of my life?
It’s for these reasons that I’ve decided to explore the places that people are actually ENVISIONING when they say somebody is "going places.”
1. A fantasy Candyland version of whatever “success” means to THEM.
A common trend I’ve noticed with adults is they LOVE projecting onto kids. When an adult looks at a child, they see a blob of massive potential. This inflated level of “potential” they THINK they see in children is actually something else. An individual with lots of TIME. They'll observe 7-year-old Johnny boy and think “Wow. I wish I could be that age again. I could’ve been_______ or ________ if I had started that early.
It’s due to this level of projection that the places adults see kids going to are always the places they failed to reach.
If 45-year-old schoolteacher Mary Lou’s dream was being an award winning actress, whenever she hears about a little girl doing something extraordinary, she’ll imagine her standing on the Oscar stage, proudly hoisting that trophy someday. Even if that little girl's accomplishment has nothing to do with acting.
If 39-year-old grocery store clerk Jim Bobway always dreamt of working in Silicon Valley, whenever he hears of a child accomplishing a major feat, he envisions them inventing the next Snapchat. Even if the achievement has nothing to do with science or technology.
Adults are shameless when it comes to living vicariously through random people they have nothing in common with.
2. Jail
Telling someone they’re going places doesn’t always have a positive connotation to it. Which is why context is important when uttering this phrase. If an adult hears of a child who used their cunning and wit to steal a candy bar from a store or cheat on a test, they’re envisioning that child behind bars in the future. This is an unfortunate place for adults to imagine kids because they’re unfairly judging children based off of one act. Whatever, though. H8ers gonna h8 right?
3. At Madison Square Garden performing to a sellout crowd as a world renowned stand-up comedian.
Adults love to laugh and children love impressing adults. It’s because of this mixture that whenever a kid makes an adult giggle even semi-intensely, that adult will envision that child as the next Chris Rock. Because they are just SO GODAMN FUNNY.
They think “Wow. If this kid can make me laugh this hard when he’s 8, just imagine when he gets to his '20s. Look out world!”
As nice of a thought as this is, getting laughs on stage is a much different game than getting laughs in a living room. The reason kids are seen as generally funny creatures is their lack of life experience/plain ignorance adds a layer of absurdity to the certainty of their statements. Kids have an easier road to the laugh because the things they say aren’t expected to be supported by fact or logic. They can get away with outlandish comments because they don’t know any better. Lovable idiots are lovable because they don’t realize they’re being made fun of. Poor kids don't even realize their life is the biggest punchline of all.
4. Constantly on a plane/traveling the world your whole life.
This is a place that’s based on equal parts projection AND behavior. If a child shows their independence by running to the woods every day to build a treehouse, they will be viewed as a “wild and free spirt whose soul cannot be contained within the confines of their physical location” Adults will look at the kids combination of imagination and perseverance, and think “Damn this kid will probably just travel his whole life. It seems to be his M.O.”
They think having an active imagination and a tendency to wander around is an indicator of the type of life that child will be leading as an adult. This prediction will be dead wrong since there's zero correlation between treehouse building and travel based careers.
Overall, if someone utters this phrase I’d take it with a grain of salt. There’s such broad range that it could mean anything, which causes it to mean nothing. People generally don’t change. They just get taller and grow more hair. Thinking that some kid is going to be the next Stephen Hawking just because they performed well at a science fair is not only absurd, but too short sighted. Although people don’t usually change their personalities, their interests and hobbies can differ wildly from year to year.
The next time you say somebody’s going places, at least be more specific with the location you envision them residing. During this convoluted time in a convoluted world, creating clarity with language would be preferred.
