Like most college kids, I have a summer job. It has nothing to do with my interests, is slightly-above minimum wage, and is generally not what I want to do with my life. I started my summer job back in December of last year, during my month long winter break from college. I needed money to pay for my Moe's addiction and because I lack the will-power to say, "You know what? I don't need that t-shirt." When home on breaks, I work at a laser-tag venue. It sounds exciting, and I admit it's better than McDonald's or working in retail, but it's still draining and frustrating. My job is to explain how to play the game, how to use the equipment, give tips on how to win, and ensure that when in the arena, everyone is safe and following the rules. Here are a few things I have learned from three months working there.
1. Kids are fine, until there's a group of forty of them in a small room and you have to get their attention for ten minutes while you explain the rules to them so that when they get in there, they know what they're doing.
2. No matter how many times you explain something to kids, they will not understand you.
3. Kids don't know what the words "no running" mean.
4. Kids learn not to pay attention to rules and people who are just trying to do their jobs from their parents.
5. College and high-school aged boys will not listen to a thing you say to them if your a girl and they perceive you to be younger than them, even if they're completely clueless on how to play the game.
6. No cute guys come to play laser tag.
7. Whatever can go wrong with a walkie-talkie, will go wrong with a walkie-talkie.
8. If you're a trainee or newer employee, you will be the only one actually doing your job, while the veterans sit and talk to each other.
9. If you're the only one actually doing your job, you will still be told that you are not doing your job.
10. You will not get help with complicated tasks that you have never been trained on.
11. Managers will critique you if you do a simple task even slightly different than they do, despite the fact that it gives you the same results.
12. Good shoes were made in response to eight-hour-no-break shifts.
13. If you don't look a customer in the eye, you can pretend not to hear them ask for help doing something you don't want/can't/don't have time for to do.
14. The know-it-all employee is annoying, but bat your eyes and make him/her feel useful by asking them to "help" with a project you "just know they can do better at". (AKA Use their desire to prove how smart they are to get them to deal with annoying problems and customers.)
15. Laser-tag is only cool the first twenty or so times you play it.
16. Fog machines are a hassle and it is impossible to evenly distribute fog in a room.
17. When old employees come to visit, you will feel confused and left out.
18. You will then decide you don't really care because you're only here for this summer and don't feel any type of attachment to this place.
19. You get really good at public speaking and being able to read a room.
20. The best part of the day is when you get to kick people out of the game because they keep breaking the rules.
21. Not being allowed to use your phone and being forced to keep it up front is actually nice because you're not checking the time every five minutes.
22. When there's nothing to do, go to the bathroom and pretend you're "checking to make sure everything's clean".
23. Busy days are better than slow days.
24. Kids will take at least three minutes deciding on what to spend their five tickets on (hint: there are only three options available).
25. All the machines will break at the same time.
26. Putting more tickets into video games is actually kind of fun and relaxing. (Also the easiest problem to fix in machines.)
27. Kids are going to drop their red slushy all over the carpet and you are going to be stuck cleaning it up for twenty minutes.
28. Kids are going to ask you for money so they can play a game and win prizes. When you tell them you can't give them money (because, you know, it's your money and you don't know them), they will get mad.
29. Opening shift over closing shift.
30. You will genuinely like only two or three people you work with.
31. You will be lucky to find one true friend. The rest are "work place proximity associates".
32. One manager you'll actually like and respect. One you will low-key hate. The rest are "meh".
33. You are going to be the only person not to care about who becomes the next manager. You don't plan on sticking around long enough to see the on-set of their reign.
34. You do feel a sense of pride when people leave the game super excited and talking about how much fun it was.
35. You're pretty sure you could beat the average layman in a game of laser-tag.
36. A career in laser-tag hospitality and management is not for you.
37. You're really glad you went for a super practical and useful degree in Sociology, which you know exactly what you want to do with....Maybe you won't tell your boss not to hold your position for next summer after all...
So, like, I guess I've learned quite a bit. But at the end of the day, I'm getting money so who's the real winner? (Moe's. The answer is Moe's. They get every cent I make.)
