35 Ava Ryan One-Liners College Girls Felt On An Emotional Level

35 Ava Ryan One-Liners College Girls Felt On An Emotional Level

She may only be 7, but damn this girl is hilarious.
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Most people remember Vine as a wonderful place for people to create some pretty funny stuff, me I am just thankful that it gave us Ava Ryan.

She is hands down the best thing that ever happened to us. She is a young girl who is all about creating some hilarious and totally relatable content for us 20-somethings.

Don't believe me, just read some of her best one-liners

*DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MOSTLY HER NEW CONTENT WITH THE ONE AND ONLY CHARLENE (one of the characters she does)*

1. I'm like a nacho, salty, cheesy, and amazing.

2. I don't have a case of the Mondays, I have a case of the every days.

3. I want to go home and party with my cats.

4. I'm not just extra, I'm extra extra read all about it.

5. Person: Why do you like Halloween so much? Ava: It's always Halloween in my soul.

6. Mmm, this smells delish. Eww, this smells like armpit, here, smell.



7. Look it. Look it. It's freaking bats. I love Halloween.

8. I love to run... after my dreams and goals.

9. I'm really good at leading people...to bad decisions.

10. *On Phone*: Where am I? At the place where nightmares live. Oh, it's the office.

11. I love shopping but I don't like interacting with humans.

12. Nothing scares me... but small talk.



13. Everybody should dress like a dragon [for Halloween] because I'm going to slay you all.

14. Sorry, I can't go to the meeting, I have another meeting to go to. *whispers* With my couch and phone.

15. What does it feel like to actually know what you're doing with your life? Because that never happened to me.

16. I don't know how people can expect to be perfect if I can't even put on my lipstick correctly.

17. *sings* You are the one thing in my way. You are the one thing in my way. CALORIES!

18. There is no "I" in team, but you know where there is one, PIZZA.



19. Congratulations on the engagement Jeff, I have some exciting news too! I ate a whole pizza last night, BY MYSELF!

20. I don't always love people, but I love talking about them.

21. Ava: Siri, please help me get my life together. Siri: That may be beyond my abilities at the moment.

22. I know it's Saturday but I can't come out. I'm old and tired, respect your elders.

23. People keep saying, "Charlene why are you so extra?" But, I think about it and say, "not as extra as the extra large fries I'm eating tonight."

24. Sometimes the sound of the human voice just makes me want to vomit.

25. I'm coming for you, pizza!

26. I don't follow the rules- I follow dogs, on social media.

27. My life is just a chain of awkward selfies.

28. Love me or hate me but I'm awkward. Gotta live with it, honey!

29. Mom: You are my best friend. Ava: We are two bacons in love.

30. Looking flawless. Like my dreams.

31.*On phone*: Sorry, I've just been so busy today *whispers* actually I've just been looking at pictures of baby goats.

32. I had a long week and I just want to be slazy. That means I'm lazy but still slaying.

33. *Working out*: Let's go get Taco Bell after this.

34. Mom: Today is Monday. Ava: Monday is for lame-trons.

35. YOU'RE WINNING! YOU'RE WINNING AT LIFE, YOU'RE WINNING!


I know I missed a lot, so what is your favorite Ava Ryan one-liner?

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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10 'Onion' Articles That All UVA Students Can Relate To

"The Onion" has been satirizing all aspects of daily life for years, but it seems to have a particular knack for making fun of the college experience.
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If you've ever spent more than five minutes on Facebook, you've probably seen an Onion article headline flash across your screen. We've all had that moment of panic that comes with encountering a particularly realistic headline: "is this real life, or is this just fantasy?" And by fantasy, of course, I mean "is this just The Onion working its usual charm? The Onion has been satirizing all aspects of daily life for years, from marriages to parenting to celebrity scandals, but it seems to have a particular knack for making fun of the college experience, as seen in the articles below.

1. "College Professor Reminds Students It Will Take A Few Classes To Memorize Everyone’s Triggers"

Though I've never had a class in which the professor uttered this exact phrase, I have been in several classes where the professors gave trigger warnings before showing a particular movie or assigning a specific book. These warnings were almost always accompanied by an opt-out policy that if the student felt particularly uncomfortable with the material being discussed, they could leave the room. Yet I've never seen anyone actually take up the professor on this, which surprises me because, in several of my classes, at least 20% of the class leaves the room in the middle of class to go to the bathroom anyway.

2. "College Freshman From Florida Has Never Seen People Complain About Snow For 5 Months Before"

As an out-of-state student from New York, coming to college in Virginia and (gasp!) occasionally spotting snow was about as big of a deal as realizing that I'd need to do my own laundry in college. For my friends coming to school on the east coast from Arizona, California, or other snow-less states, this was definitely not the case. Snow always seems to be a controversial topic because, no matter what happens, regardless of whether class is canceled or not, people are always disappointed and frustrated.

3. "Creative Writing Professor Takes Time To Give Every Student Personalized False Hope"

I mostly included this amusing article because it is actually set in Charlottesville, which is not just close to home for UVA students, it is home. I've never actually taken a creative writing class at UVA, but from what I hear of the ENWR classes and such, a lot of times the feedback on students' writing is either unnecessarily complimentary or ridiculously harsh. It's easy to think that one brilliant paper, or one Odyssey article with thousands of page views, could open doors towards a successful writing career, but it's also important to remember not to let your head get too big from one positively received piece.

4. "University Quickly Slaps Together Rinky-Dink Ceremony For Anyone Graduating In December"

Every year, I hear about one or two fourth years I know who are graduating in December, and so I'm presuming that they're not the only ones doing so. However, I feel like I never see any celebratory pictures, from UVA or the graduating students, regarding this December graduation ceremony. Which leads me to wonder, what the heck IS the December graduation? Us May graduators may never know.

5. "College Freshman Makes Triumphant Return To High School"

As someone who enjoyed visiting my high school when I went home for breaks my first year, this one hits particularly close to, well, home. I'd strut around like I owned the place, a full 0 inches taller than I was as an actual high school student, and confidently high five my friends that were still in high school and delighted by my impromptu visit. Fast forward to the end of my third year, and it's now such a weird feeling to go back to my high school for any event. Everything and everyone seems smaller, and because I'm so old, no one in the hallways recognizes me anymore. At least I don't get sanctioned any more from the security guards preventing high school students from leaving campus during the day.

6. "College Still Looking For Absolute Saddest Place On Campus To Hold Transfer Student Orientation"

From what I've heard, at least about the transfer student orientation for the McIntire School of Commerce at UVA, it is much less about celebrating their academic accomplishments and much more about bleakly informing them that they now have to catch up on all of the culture and historical enlightenment that all other UVA students have been steeped in over their first year or two.

7. "Report: Most College Males Regularly Admit To Getting Stoked"

For whatever reason, whenever I walk around Grounds doing whatever it is that I do all day, I constantly hear guys talking about how "stoked" they are for various, not-really-stokeworthy things. Whether it's their fraternity's party this weekend or the fact that they're being really rebellious and skipping class again today, "stoked" seems to have permeated the university vernacular almost as much as "lit," "pregaming," "postgaming," and "yasssss."

8. "Excited Virginia Fans Storm Court To Beat Shit Out Of Duke Basketball Team"

I find this headline particularly amusing because nothing gets UVA fans quite as riled up as playing Duke in basketball. Not only do UVA fans want to beat Duke, many of them quite literally would like to beat up Duke. To my knowledge, it's been quite some time since UVA fans stormed the court after a game against Duke, probably because we don't beat them that much. However, I highly doubt that any post-game shenanigans would ever escalate to this level of violence, because that would violate pretty much all of Tony Bennett's "five pillars to success."

9. "Man Happy To Set Up Job Interview For Fraternity Brother He Once Forced To Drink Own Piss"

I know that fraternities are all about "forming a lifelong brotherhood" or whatever, and inevitably for some brothers, that tight-knit group eventually leads them to a network of super cool dudes that help them get a job. In my mind, there's just no way that you can totally separate being helpful and getting your brother a job interview from having mercilessly hazed him just three years before. Of course, I do not condone hazing in any way, but I'm sure this conflict of behaviors has come to the mind of at least one fraternity brother over the years.

10. "Professor Sees Parallels Between Things, Other Things"

I love this one because while UVA is undoubtedly an enlightening, inspiring place that teaches you how to expand your horizons of thought, sometimes professors take it a little too far and make tenuous connections between ideas and other ideas. I've sat in classes on several occasions in which the professor droned on about how the font of one chapter symbolizes the sexual violence present throughout the novel, or how the initials of one character are the same as the French way of saying "you're screwed," and so forth. It's great to learn about how to connect different ideas and thought philosophies in college, but there comes a time when it's okay to say, "I really just don't think these ideas have any relation whatsoever" and leave it at that.

In the midst of a tumultuous time when fake news ravages the internet and nothing is real anymore, let's all take a moment to thank The Onion for being the one beacon of truth we can all rely on. It may not report the factual truth, but it certainly reports the emotional truth that we all need to hear.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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The Three C's: Conscience, Coachella, And Chick-fil-A

Is it all worth it?
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The age-old argument: what do I let go? And at what cost? I’ve been undergoing a lot of self-reflection lately about what it means to persist on old pathways despite “knowing better.” We know that pollution is a problem, yet we continue to drive cars that blow exhaust into the stratosphere. Why?

I know I don’t have the answers, but I think an exploration of the conversation is important.

This weekend I attended Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, and I had a blast. Though I’ve been met with the critique that Coachella is not an ethical decision. Coachella is marketed, and experienced, as a carefree and fun wonderland of music and art and food, poised as the perfect Californian festival. But, Philip Anschutz, the CEO behind Coachella is homophobic and actively gives money to anti-LGBTQ organizations.

As a queer person, I find myself thinking “oh...I know this is wrong, but I’m still giving money to this organization, why?” Granted, I bought my tickets resale, but money has still gone to Anschutz, and therefore organizations that threaten the health of LGBTQ+ people and people who need free access to healthcare from Planned Parenthood and similar clinics. What are my priorities? Am I putting being carefree and having fun over my values?

To comparison, but not to scale, think of how we know it is healthier for the planet and more sustainable for people to go vegan, but they continue to eat meat regardless.

For a direct comparison, let’s look at Chick-fil-A. A company that is actively religious, closing on Sundays and Christian holidays and actively giving money to anti-LGBTQ organizations. Yet, “woke” people still enjoy their fried-chicken sandwiches with only little pause.

Where is it that we draw this invisible line of morality? Is “just one time” one time too many? And what do these occurrences have to say about the nature of selfishness. Is our ability to overlook and pursue personal gain a trait we have as humans or a trait we learn?

These are large-scale questions could truly go supernova in their scope, so I will attempt to reel them back in:

Coachella. A music and arts festival that attracts the young liberal audience of southern California with the fashion, art installations, unique culinary experiences, and modern artists—all the while, a festival of which proceeds go towards pro-gun organizations, a truth that should startle the average festival goer.

While Coachella started with the best of intentions back in 1999, it was acquired by Anschutz’s company AEG (Anschutz Entertainment Group) in 2001 and has carried this troubled legacy ever since. As we race into extremely polarized political times, where finances can drive whole campaigns forward, shadowing underfunded grassroots organizations, perhaps we should be more concerned where our money ends up. The reality is, in the 2010 Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission case, the Supreme Court ruled that there can be no federal regulation on how much money can be donated to political causes.

For perspective, in 2017 Anschutz donated $33,000 given to the Republican Congressional Committee; $70,000 to the Republican Senate Committee; $5,000 to National Security Advisor John Bolton’s political action committee as well as the campaigns of Republican politicians Paul Ryan, Scott Tipton and Cory Gardner. He as well has donated over $190,000 to anti-LGBTQ groups such as Alliance for Freedom, Family Research Council and the National Christian Foundation in the past 6 years.

Beyonce might have reinvented the Greek alphabet, but it’s hard to disregard at what cost it comes to see her arguably life-changing performance. Because, in paying the $400 to see her and other artists, that money could be used to harm other individuals.

At what point do we say enough is enough?

I truly don’t know, yet, I’m hopeful that with more transparency of the actions going on behind the scenes of organizations such as Coachella and Chick-fil-A and the like, this generation will be able to push back against the status quo and fight for organizations to actually support us.

Otherwise, we may* suffer a fate worse than being taken-advantage of by the greed of these super-tycoons, but rather succumbing to our own ignorance and selfishness. But is there ethical consumption under capitalism? Can there ever be?

*this of course, is not definitive, and I am still figuring out my personal opinion on these matters, however I believed it was an important topic to bring up into the public light to spark conversation.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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