Summer is finally here, which means it's time for multiple road trips to your favorite outdoor concert venue. If your venue is anything like mine, country concerts are especially known for their 5-hour long tailgates, flannel shirts, interesting crowds, regrettable decisions, and countless American flags.
Here are some of the things you can expect to see at this type of concert:
1. People who hate country music, but love to drink. They may have no idea who Tim McGraw is, but an outdoor day party?! Hell yeah.
2. Trucks, trucks, and more trucks. These men live for whipping out their four wheel drives at the tailgate just to see some drunk girls in some sort of crop-top/bra-paired-with-cut-off-jean-shorts ensemble dancing in the bed. Every now and then there's even a classy and elegant confederate flag hanging off it it somewhere. They may be rednecks, but they're probably really proud of that.
Maybe they'll let you use their corn hole and pong table.
3. Camo, tattoos, beards, etc. Nothing says country like the crowd that has butterfly tattoos stamped on lower backs, arm tattoos that have something to do with God, Duck Dynasty beards, a "back to back world war champs" tank from Walmart, and camouflage Crocs or cowboy boots. Obviously can't forget the cowboy hats as well.
4. Way too many people climbing out of one car, because only one person offered to DD. Wow, this is so illegal. So what if there's someone in the trunk? You're promoting sober driving.
5. This girl:
6. And this girl:
7. The person that was supposed to be the DD now drinking because they broke down.
8. When one of the DD's passenger sees them drinking and realizes they have to stay sober so they can drive everyone home:
Don't worry, everyone's getting home safe.
9. Drunk girls meeting up with their drunk friends and acting like they haven't seen each other in years.
11. Fights. Lots of fights.
I'm talkin' both genders. You think this is just a man's battle? Nope, everyone gets in on the action.
12. People drinking out of Gatorade bottles that clearly have something illegal in them.
Gatorade definitely doesn't make a clearish-blueish-purpleish flavor. But that's none of my business.
13. The guy who's getting way into the whole "country music patriotism" thing.
This applies to girls as well. They just can't wait to bring out those American flag fanny packs.
14. Hundreds of these people scattered on the grass who stand no chance of making it into the concert.
Looks like someone's getting a free ticket. It may be covered in puke though. (And yes, this is my close friend featured above. Sorry bud.)
15. The person who can't stop falling in the mud and pretty much looks like:
16. The huge mass of people making the incredibly long and horrible trek from the tailgate parking lot to the actual venue (but it doesn't feel as long as it should.)
17. People trying to sneakily smuggle alcohol past security and ticket line workers.
18. Drunk moms.
19. Both men and women peeing anywhere they possibly can.
That's what the woods are for, right?
20. The pervert who walks around the concert and basically does this to girls:
PLEASE LEAVE.
21. Hearing this conversation between total strangers in the bathroom, food line, etc:
22. Drunk selfies, drunk selfies everywhere.
(OR girls asking people to take pictures for them around every corner. Next morning, the photo will be Instagrammed, with the inevitable caption quoting said country artist's song lyrics.)
23. Friends apologizing for their belligerent friend's actions.
"I'm sorry about my friend trampling mud all over your family's blanket, she literally has no idea what she's doing."
24. Makeouts that are 100% regretted the next day.
Come on, no one wants to see that.
25. Drunk people who are underage trying to convince the police to let them go.
26. When a person's drunk has all of the sudden worn off and they realize how tired they are:
HOW MANY OPENING ACTS ARE THERE?!
27. Girls taking blurry, low-quality snapchat videos of the concert for their story that everyone will skip through anyway.
(For those of you that know me, yes I am guilty of this. Shut up.)
28. The people who "LOVE THIS SONG" and are feeling themselves:
"I DON"T NEED A DANCE PARTNER."
29. When a group of friends' song comes on and they dance like:
But they think they look like:
30. When the country artist himself is also drunk, finishes some passionate blurb about being American, following your dreams, falling in love, never giving up, and drinking beer, and the crowd totally buys into it and is all like:
31. The flock of people trying to beat the traffic after the concert ends.
32. The extremely drunk girl looking for her car in the colossal parking lot.
33. Everyone around you in their cars so exhausted and dreading the ride home.
34. And despite all of your horrible mistakes, regrets, and things you will never un-see, you know when the next country concert comes you'll do it all over again.
**Sidenote: I love country music, so I do not fall under the category of #1. I am, however, guilty of being #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #12, #13, #15, #16, #17, #19, #21, #22, #23, #24, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, and #34.
Hey, it happens to the best of us.
