34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War
Start writing a post

34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War

"Yes! He's hit spider puberty!"

34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War

Spoiler alert. Massive, MASSIVE spoiler alert, friends.

I am now prepared to give you a word-by-word commentary on what my thoughts and very loud comments were this weekend for the most recent emotional hit of Marvel's cinematic universe. Be prepared. There will be blood, screams, and people crumbling into dust. Brace yourselves.

1. When Loki died: "Saw that one coming..."

2. When Tony and Pepper mentioned having kids: (unintelligible pterodactyl noises)

3. All of the Strange-Stark shade throwing: "There can only be one Sherlock. Let the battle begin."

4. When Gamora and Peter finally kissed: "YES! YES! FINALMENTE!"

Keep in mind I am whisper-screaming this in the middle of a theater. And I do not sound like I have the right to be speaking Spanish...at all.

5. Any time anyone did anything stupid: "No, you idiot!"

6. Any time anyone came onscreen for the first time: "My baby!"

No. It is not a coincidence that Peter occupies both of these points.

7. When the spidey-senses started tingling: "YAS! He's hit spider puberty!"

8. When Nebula survived the film and Gamora didn't: "Did NOT see that one coming..."

9. When Tony "knighted" Peter into the Avengers: "I'm so sad yet so happy at the same time!"

10. Anytime Mantis, Groot or Peter did anything: "You precious child. Survive this film."

Needless to say, I was very disappointed.

11. When Groot saved Thor by making the handle: "You are a man-Groot now!"

12. When we went to Wakanda: "Do they have a national anthem? I want to learn it."

13. When Okoye came onscreen the first time: "My lady." (bows from seat)

14. When Okoye, Natasha, Wanda, and Proxima Midnight had their BA girl fight: "I needed that in my life."

15. When Rocket asked Bucky for his arm: "I didn't know I needed that in my life until now..."

16. When M'Baku called T'Challa brother: "Where have you been all my life?"

17. The entire fight on Titan with Thanos: "If you kill any more of my babies, I shall murder you."

18. When Wanda had to kill Vision: "I saw this coming, but dang, it doesn't hurt any less!"

19. When Thor almost killed Thanos: "Yes! Take that, brother-slayer!"

20. When Thor didn't kill Thanos and instead enabled him to activate the Infinity Gauntlet: "WHAT?"

21. When Wanda died: "Saw that coming."


23. When Sam died: "Nope. I'm in denial."

infinity war fight GIF

24. When T'Challa died: (girlish gasp of horror)

25. When I realized I didn't know if Shuri was dead or injured: "If my baby has been killed, so help me, I will riot. The Russo brothers will rue the day they planned this!"

26. When the Guardians died: "But NOOOOO!!!! And - not that I'm complaining, but...HOW IS NEBULA NOT DEAD?"

27. When I realized Rocket was the only surviving Guardian: "How dare you mess with my emotions this way?"

28. When people started dying on Titan: "Oh crap... I know where this is going..."

29. When Strange died: "Wait...what?"

30. When I realized what was coming next: "Nope. Nononononononononononono."

For the next few points, Steve will be an accurate representation of me trying to hold back inevitable doom.

31. When Peter died: "Screw you, Marvel!"

Yes. I screamed this in the midst of a crowded theater. While sobbing. Like a baby.

32. When I realized Tony was alone on Titan after watching everyone die: "Dang it, stop making me feel things!"

33. When it cut to credits: "WHAT? NO!"

34. When it became clear they weren't messing with me and yes, I have to deal with a Marvel universe without T'Challa, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, the Guardians of the Galaxy sans Rocket, and Peter Parker for another year at least: "Really screw you, Marvel!"

But, because I'm a fan of ending my listicles on a high note:

35. When Thor called Rocket a rabbit: "Blessings on this film. Mazel tov."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.


Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.


On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less

I’m OK With Hooking Up On The First Date, But That DOESN'T Make Me Easy

2020 has been a crazy year. And yet, women being comfortable with our bodies still seems to be a big topic in mass media.


I'm an adult. There is no reason I can't have consensual sex with someone on the first date. It does NOT make me easy, and it does not mean I'll have sex with just anyone the first time I meet them.

Keep Reading... Show less

I was so excited to vote in my local primary election in August. I eagerly researched my local candidates, combed the newspaper for profiles and policy positions, and shared infographics on Insta about voting deadlines. I considered myself a keen voter.

Keep Reading... Show less

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinologist who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less

This $40 Silk Sleep Mask Gives Me The Best Sleep I've Ever Had — I Never Go Anywhere Without It

Crane And Canopy just redefined the meaning of "beauty sleep".


- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Self-Care Kit Every College Student Should Have Handy In 2020

Make sure you have everything you need to relieve some tension.


As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.


The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments