34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War
Start writing a post
Entertainment

34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War

"Yes! He's hit spider puberty!"

340
34 Bits Of Commentary From When I Watched Infinity War
YouTube

Spoiler alert. Massive, MASSIVE spoiler alert, friends.

I am now prepared to give you a word-by-word commentary on what my thoughts and very loud comments were this weekend for the most recent emotional hit of Marvel's cinematic universe. Be prepared. There will be blood, screams, and people crumbling into dust. Brace yourselves.

1. When Loki died: "Saw that one coming..."

2. When Tony and Pepper mentioned having kids: (unintelligible pterodactyl noises)

3. All of the Strange-Stark shade throwing: "There can only be one Sherlock. Let the battle begin."

4. When Gamora and Peter finally kissed: "YES! YES! FINALMENTE!"

Keep in mind I am whisper-screaming this in the middle of a theater. And I do not sound like I have the right to be speaking Spanish...at all.

5. Any time anyone did anything stupid: "No, you idiot!"

6. Any time anyone came onscreen for the first time: "My baby!"

No. It is not a coincidence that Peter occupies both of these points.

7. When the spidey-senses started tingling: "YAS! He's hit spider puberty!"

8. When Nebula survived the film and Gamora didn't: "Did NOT see that one coming..."

9. When Tony "knighted" Peter into the Avengers: "I'm so sad yet so happy at the same time!"

10. Anytime Mantis, Groot or Peter did anything: "You precious child. Survive this film."

Needless to say, I was very disappointed.

11. When Groot saved Thor by making the handle: "You are a man-Groot now!"

12. When we went to Wakanda: "Do they have a national anthem? I want to learn it."

13. When Okoye came onscreen the first time: "My lady." (bows from seat)

14. When Okoye, Natasha, Wanda, and Proxima Midnight had their BA girl fight: "I needed that in my life."

15. When Rocket asked Bucky for his arm: "I didn't know I needed that in my life until now..."

16. When M'Baku called T'Challa brother: "Where have you been all my life?"

17. The entire fight on Titan with Thanos: "If you kill any more of my babies, I shall murder you."

18. When Wanda had to kill Vision: "I saw this coming, but dang, it doesn't hurt any less!"

19. When Thor almost killed Thanos: "Yes! Take that, brother-slayer!"

20. When Thor didn't kill Thanos and instead enabled him to activate the Infinity Gauntlet: "WHAT?"

21. When Wanda died: "Saw that coming."

22. When Bucky died: "WHAT? WE JUST GOT HIM BACK, AND HE'S MENTALLY SOUND! WHAT IN CRAP, MARVEL?"

23. When Sam died: "Nope. I'm in denial."

infinity war fight GIF

24. When T'Challa died: (girlish gasp of horror)


25. When I realized I didn't know if Shuri was dead or injured: "If my baby has been killed, so help me, I will riot. The Russo brothers will rue the day they planned this!"

26. When the Guardians died: "But NOOOOO!!!! And - not that I'm complaining, but...HOW IS NEBULA NOT DEAD?"

27. When I realized Rocket was the only surviving Guardian: "How dare you mess with my emotions this way?"

28. When people started dying on Titan: "Oh crap... I know where this is going..."

29. When Strange died: "Wait...what?"

30. When I realized what was coming next: "Nope. Nononononononononononono."

For the next few points, Steve will be an accurate representation of me trying to hold back inevitable doom.

31. When Peter died: "Screw you, Marvel!"

Yes. I screamed this in the midst of a crowded theater. While sobbing. Like a baby.

32. When I realized Tony was alone on Titan after watching everyone die: "Dang it, stop making me feel things!"

33. When it cut to credits: "WHAT? NO!"

34. When it became clear they weren't messing with me and yes, I have to deal with a Marvel universe without T'Challa, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, the Guardians of the Galaxy sans Rocket, and Peter Parker for another year at least: "Really screw you, Marvel!"

But, because I'm a fan of ending my listicles on a high note:

35. When Thor called Rocket a rabbit: "Blessings on this film. Mazel tov."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
The 100 Things Millennials have ruined: A Comprehensive List
http://www.factandmyth.com/the-middle-class/are-mi...

Millennials: the generation everyone loves to hate. The babies of 1980 to 1995 take a lot of heat. I mean, we inherited a crashed economy, earn stagnant wages, live with crippling student loan debt, and try to enact change in a rigged system but our affinity for avocado toast and use of technology has wrecked society as we know it! As a tail end millennial, I wanted to know what I was ruining and, like any other annoying millennial would, I did some research. I scoured the internet, read online newspapers and scrolled through every listicle I could find. So, in case you needed another reason to resent the millennial in your life, here are the 100 industries we've killed, things we've ruined or concepts we've destroyed.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

This month, Odyssey brings about awareness & normality to conversations around mental health from our community.

2868
Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

It's no secret that even in 2018 our country still struggles with discrimination of all kinds. Society labels individuals by the color of their skin, heritage, religion, sexuality, gender, size, and political beliefs. You are either privileged or you're not. However, here's the thing, anxiety doesn't care about your privilege. Anxiety doesn't discriminate.

Keep Reading... Show less
College Boy Charm is Real and it's Very Sexy
Disney

After surviving a year of college and watching "Clueless" countless times, I've come to the conclusion that college boy charm is very much a real thing and it's very very attractive. It's easiest explained through Paul Rudd's character, Josh, in "Clueless". The boy who has a grip on his life and is totally charming. In this article, I will list the qualities of a specimen with College Boy Charm, to help you identify him at your next party or other social events.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Tik Tok Stars: Worth the Hype? or Overrated?

As Tik-Tokers rise to fame, do their 'copy-cat' dances deserve the clout?

4430
Tik Tok Stars: Worth the Hype? or Overrated?
https://pixabay.com/photos/tiktok-social-media-app-tik-tok-5323007/

Oh, the wonders of social media. Trends come and go just as quick as a story on Instagram, everyone posting for their shot at fifteen minutes of fame, and the ever growing following of a new type of celebrity- social media influencers and content creators. Everyone who owns a smartphone probably has Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and now Tik-Tok, as it's growing to be a major social media platform for teenagers and young adults. Tik Tok became popular in the United States in late 2019 and since then has grown a considerable amount. Personally, I was one to make fun of Tik-Tok and say it was a dumb app like Musical.ly or Triller, and now months later, I spend more time on it than I do on Instagram.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Because self confidence is sexy

And as a woman, I want us all to love ourselves a little bit more today.

7810

Women have such high standards to live up to today. We’re expected to do and be so much. The great Tina Fey said “Every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes." This quote is not only hilarious, but also incredibly true! How many of you feel insecure every time you walk on campus, or every time you walk into a party? Even the girls you think are perfect are insecure. Everyone has flaws. Sure some flaws may be more exaggerated than others, but that doesn’t mean that the girl still feels bad about them. My point here is that it doesn’t matter how “perfect” you are, what matters most is how “perfect” you feel.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments