I don't know about you but the only time I look half-decent is when I know I'm going to go out for the night (..or I have a job interview). Besides that, my hair is almost always nearly in a messy bun and my morning breath lingers until noon. Here are 32 thoughts that run through every girl's mind when we tell others we are "getting ready" for the night.
1. I’m going to stay in tonight.
2. But I didn’t go out last weekend.
3. Or the weekend before that.
4. Does that make me a loser?
5. Oh well. Pizza and Netflix it is.
6. Should I order pizza now or later?
7. I’m going to order a large meat lovers pizza.
8. Lord knows I’m not getting meat from anywhere else tonight.
9. *Checks Instagram*
10. Oooohh that girl looks like she’s having fun.
11. Or like she’s about to throw up. Definitely about to throw up.
12. What time is it?
13. It’s only 10:30. I still have time to get ready and go out.
14. “ROOOOMMIEESS, let’s go to the bars!”
15. Ugh. I have to put makeup on.
16. Damn, I look hot AF.
17. I’m like a sexy vampire with this lipstick.
18. Too late. I already have makeup on.
19. Where is my booby bra?
20. I don’t have any clothes.
21. I wore this the last time I went out.
22. Ewww. This shirt smells like vomit.
23. What is this crusty stain from?
24. I’ll put on a vest and spray some perfume.
25. Great. Now I smell like vomit mixed with roses and dandelions.
26. Let’s take shots.
27. Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.
28. Where is my handle of vodka?
29. I’m going to barf.
30. This tastes like rubbing alcohol.
31. Oh well. Let’s take anotha one and anotha one.
32. Ready to leave! Let’s take an arbitrary Snapchat or it didn’t happen.
P.S. I ended up getting that meat pizza and extra cheesy fries that night.
