30 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Has

With classes out of session for the summer break, many college students become retailslavesprisonerscaptives employees. Instead of going to the beach every weekend, or planning extravagant trips with your friends, someone needs to pay for all of the booze-filled nights to drown out your sorrows of your minimum wage job.

1. If I die, I don’t have to go to work.

2. Should I call in? I should call in...but I need money.

3. On a scale of one to 10, how risky is taking a nap in the break-room?

4. Can my co-workers smell the alcohol coming from my pores from last night?

5. Speaking of last night, I shouldn’t take so many shots.

6. Thank God I’m 21.

7. I wonder how many drinks it will take to forget the eight meaningless hours I spent here today.

9. In one hour, I only have four more hours left here.

10. I hope no one comes into the store today.… and the lunch rush is here…. This is fabulous.

11. I’m living the dream... please, kill me.

12. I’m fine, thanks for not asking me.

13. What you just purchased is hideous.

14. Please, stop telling me about the weather or your weekend plans, because I’m stuck inside due to people like you!

15. My face hurts because I’m fake smiling all day long.

16. Can people tell that I don’t care about their in-laws coming to visit?

17. My only co-worker that I like just put in her two-week notice.

18. I want to go home.

19. In one more hour, I only have three more hours!

20. Time flies when you’re having so much fun.

21. And... I’m working next weekend. What a surprise.

22. I hate store sales.

23. No, ma’am, you can’t return the shirt with the ketchup stain on it… I hope it’s ketchup.

24. Who invented the word ketchup?

25. Is it time for my break?

26. I need a break from my break.

27. Three minutes left of my break…

28. How come my shift doesn’t go this fast? I need a new job.

29. My group chat is blowing up with weekend plans; of course, I can't go.

30. Time to clock out.