Horror movies aren't just made to scare the living crap out of you and make you completely paranoid. They can also teach you important life lessons. These lessons could potentially help you out of tough situations and maybe even save your life. Let's begin, shall we?
1. Always be in a group.
Why would you go to an abandoned hospital in the middle of nowhere by yourself at midnight?
2. Do not go anywhere that you're not supposed to be.
Oh, gee, I don't know... maybe like an abandoned hospital or places that have obvious signs (like crime scene tape).
3. Do not take anything that's not yours.
Because, you know, maybe that thing you took belonged to a little girl who was brutally murdered and will haunt you into oblivion if you took it.
4. If you hear or see anything weird or creepy, GET OUT.
Seriously, why do people feel the need to hang around a haunted house when they just saw dead twins watching them eat cereal or something.
5. If a serial killer is chasing you around the house with a knife, don't ever go upstairs or downstairs.
Go out the front door or jump out a window! Just get out of the house for God's sake.
6. If you're alone and hear something in another room, don't ask if someone's there.
Because if someone is there and they're a murderer, they're not going to answer you by saying, "I'm over here, hiding behind the bathroom door!"
7. Don't ever live in a secluded area that is surrounded by woods.
Come on people, we've all seen "Hush."
8. That dream house that you saw was surprisingly cheap? Yeah, don't get it.
Now, let me tell you why: knocking coming from the walls, too many bugs coming from nowhere, dead birds surrounding the house, voices that tell you to kill your entire family, lights keep going on and off, doors opening and closing by themselves, finding a peephole in the basement and on the other side it says "kill them all," finding out that there were murders in the house, creepy neighbors, weird stains on the walls that can't be removed. The list can go on and on.
9. The creepy old men that everyone avoids are always right.
And they will even sacrifice their lives to save you even when you were being a complete jerk to them.
10. Always always always keep an eye on your kid.
Because they might go in the basement to play and then open up a vent that contains little demons that will kill you for your teeth.
11. Stop telling yourself it's just your imagination.
You didn't just imagine your best friend getting sliced open by a crazy, evil doctor. You didn't just imagine your dog nailed to the front porch. And, you most definitely didn't just imagine your reflection not following you.
12. Do not mess with the paranormal.
This is pretty self-explanatory.
13. Don't ever think of making that pact with the devil.
What was number 12 again?
14. Please pay attention to your pets or barn yard animals.
If they're barking, hissing or making noises at something you can't see, GET OUT OF THERE.
15. Always keep your phone on you when you're at a gathering; don't let anyone pressure you into giving it to them for "safe keeping."
We all know who "they" are and we all know the game "would you rather?"
16. When your kid is telling you about their new imaginary friend and they start blaming every single bad thing that happens on them, please move somewhere else or do something more productive than blaming everything on your kid.
Their imaginary friend is NOT imaginary.
16. If you wake up in the middle of the night and a ghost kid is telling you to watch home-made videos from a old projector, break the cycle.
You don't want to make a home-made video of killing your family and being with a creepy old ghost man for all eternity now, do you?
17. Speaking of breaking the cycle, make sure you pay attention to everything from your medium friend freaking out to random empty gasoline tanks at a cabin to a mine in the woods.
Nobody has time for mine games.
18. Stop picking on that "nerd" or that girl nobody knows.
Trust me, you'll get what's coming.
19. Stop picking up the phone if you hear nothing but heavy breathing.
It's just creepy af.
20. If your idea of getting revenge involves pig's blood, please stop.
Pig's blood will get you nowhere and it is not funny.
21. Don't keep flickering the lights on and off to see what you just saw in the dark.
When you turn off the light and see something that you didn't see with the light on, don't attempt to turn the lights on and off to make sure you "aren't seeing things." Especially if that something is getting closer and closer to you when the lights are off.
22. Don't go in the water if you have a bad feeling about it.
There might be ravenous sharks, dead bodies, things trying to pull you down or maybe that dangerous kelp you've read about so much.
23. Please don't hover over a monster or killer to actually make sure they're dead.
Guess what: they're not actually dead.
24. Don't bury dead pets/kids/spouses in an ancient Native American burial ground.
Should I remind you what happened in "Pet Sematary"?
25. Don't mess with satanic ritual grounds either.
Why would you even think about setting foot on one?
26. Stop splitting up.
Truth be told, it is NOT a better and safe way of finding help.
27. Don't pick up hitchhikers.
I mean, if you really want to pick them up, go ahead. But if you wake up the next day naked in a tub filled with ice, don't blame anyone but yourself.
28. If you hear knocking on your front door and no one is out there when you look through the window or peephole, don't unlock the door and go outside to see if someone is playing a prank on you.
It's not a prank, and you will have just played yourself. Congrats.
29. Your friends aren't really your friends if they tell you to stay overnight in an abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town.
Even if you don't come back, they won't search for you or take the blame. Keeping a reputation or winning a bet is not worth your life.
30. Babysitting jobs are the worst.
Examples include: "When a Stranger Calls," "Para Elisa" and "Halloween."
Now children, let's remember what we just learned and put them to good use.
