During the holidays, family reunions, and being dragged along by your parents to visit your family, here are 30 things that you may encounter during a family gathering:
1. Food. You gain the Freshman 15 with five hours of being with your family.
2. Your family members keep asking you each time they see you, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?!"
3. You're thinking to yourself, "I'm definitely not getting a boyfriend if you keep feeding me like this."
6. Your grandma keeps asking you to stop texting on that "iPod."
7. Your relatives keep asking you who you're texting.
8. Grandma slips you a $50.
9. Your mom yells at you for not helping clear the table.
10. Your brain is literally ignoring the messages from your stomach that you were full three hours ago. Apple pie is the move. With ice cream.
11. No, Aunt Kathy, I still don't have a boyfriend. Nothing has changed in the past five minutes.
12. You're finally at that age that you can have wine at dinner.
13. But you still get put at the kiddie table.
14. Everyone's drunk. Food babies are out. So we take out the card games. Warning: Cards Against Humanity is not the best game to play around Grandma.
15. Pictures. Your face is hurting from smiling, and you have the honor to be next to the weird cousin that keeps making jokes about Harry Potter. The relatives are yelling "Cheese!!!!" The camera wasn't even turned on.
16. You sneak more wine because you're in college and you can handle your booze. Turn up.
17. You ask your mom what time you're leaving.
18. Your dad and your uncle are making bets on the upcoming football game.
19. You meet a new person that you're somehow distantly related to. Awkward hug.
20. You hang out with your baby cousin because she's cooler than all your cousins put together. She's eight months old.
21. Grandpa is telling that war story that you've heard seven times, but you listen anyway. He even added a new, made-up part to the story.
22. You get the classic question, "What's your major?" followed by, "What career are you going to have? You know, your cousin is an engineer. He makes six digits." Cool.
23. No, Aunt Kathy, I'm not texting my boyfriend.
24. You see someone that knows exactly who you are and you swear you've never seen that person in your life. Awkward smile.
25. Five glasses of wine.
26. A card from your cool aunt for your birthday. It's not your birthday. Score.
27. Mouthing to your mom across the table, "Can we leave?" She gives you the look that says, "Don't start with me."
28. Taking Snapchats of your drunk relatives dancing, captioned, "send help."
29. Your relatives ask if they can friend request you on Facebook. Please, Lord, help me.
30. Just one more piece of apple pie can't hurt, right?
Although sometimes visiting your family isn't your first choice of how to spend your day, just remember: they're your family, your blood, and you may be that weird aunt one day...
