1. This isn't just a thought but rather a ritual; you say it so often that you started sleep talking about it. "I can't speak on behalf of the congressman but I'll forward your message on".
2. Home state products become an underground bartering system between interns in various offices. Chobani, Lays, and Pepsi offices are among the favorites.
3. Wearing your intern badge. It's embarrassing and it is basically the equivalent to having the world "pledge" written on your forehead. Orange is not the new black. Because black is for staff badges.
4. In regards to that badge, whenever you get on the subway to the capitol, there's this awkward moment where you know you have to flash your staff ID at the security officer but they don't demand to see it and so you uncomfortably hold out your badge and they just stare at you like "I didn't ask". If you don't show your badge, they do demand and then you feel like you're being accused of being a terrorist. It's a fine line between following procedure and looking like a jackass trying to show off their intern badge.
5. You live for receptions. You find yourself befriending lobbyists and specialists who try to talk to you about specific policy issues that were debated at the briefing you didn't attend earlier that day.You awkwardly avoid the fact that you're just eating their free food while you're standing in line at the bar for your fifth free beer.
6. The TPs. You are telling a constituent the differences between the TPA and the TAA and the TTIP and they still don't understand that the TPP hasn't even been introduced yet and your entire day is a swirl of Ts and Ps and As.
7. You've read every single article on Politico three times by the end of every day.
8. And the hill.
9. And roll call.
10. And CNN.
11. Getting off at Capitol South is a cluster you-know-what and you're waiting so long to just get out of the gate that you realize walking to work probably would have been faster.
12. Walking from Capitol South or Union Station is no longer than a ten minute walk no matter what office building you work in. Despite this, by the time you get there you have to blow on your skin get the sweat you just accumulated in that short walk to dry before walking into the office.
13. You almost just want to tell whoever's on the phone that your L.A. is unavailable before even asking "Would you like to take the call?" because the answer will always be "voicemail".
14. When someone calls and asks for an L.A.s name you know just to say "standard senate/house" because you know the pain of calling every office to update a contact list and you know they need that confirmation.
15. Giving tours is a blessing and a curse. You get to get out of the office for at least an hour but you also have to answer questions like "how many times have you met the president"?
161. When you're sitting in the subway with a congressman and you want to say something but don't know their name.
17. Accidentally getting in a members only elevator and getting the death glare.
18.Trying to have a conversation with your BFF from home about how cool it was that you were near the cloakroom when a bill was debated on the senate floor and they're like "so where in the White House is that?"
18. Trying to network with no business cards.
19. Asking your IT guy to fix the printer and he asks if you even turned it on. The answer is probably no.
20. Trying to have the motivation to be an amazing employee so you can hopefully get a job in your office but realizing you're unpaid so your drive is next to nothing.
21. Texting your other intern friends in the morning "Are we in session today?" to find out whether you really HAVE to shower/put on heels.
22. If you're not studying for the LSAT, you're in the REAL minority.
23. What do pages even do?
24. When the clock hits five, guess what? You still have another hour of work.
25. Being hopelessly lost on the metro system during the first few weeks of our internship is a normal occurrence.
26. A follow up to that: falling asleep on the metro and waking up in Maryland.
27. Engaging in a non-overt competition with the other intern in your office over who can answer the phone first.
28. Dealing with an angry constituent who insists on blaming you (the intern) for your member of congress’ vote.
29. Dealing with the “regulars” who call every single day, several times a day to MAKE SURE you know their opinion on large issue facing our nation. Sometimes they call enough to recognize your voice and know your name (creepy!).
30. If you happen to be in one of the offices that doesn’t pay interns, you know that you are really ballin' on a budget, and can’t drink after the long grueling workweek because you wouldn’t be able to afford it but you buy the 8 dollar happy hour beer anyway.
