At this point, we're all pretty used to hearing about presidential wannabe Donald Trump spouting inane, ridiculous rhetoric about every aspect of our lives. His latest harebrained comments compared the NFL to the state of our nation, saying that both are "soft." He apparently misses football being excessively violent, repeated head injuries that cause things like brain disease and make players bigger suicide risks be damned. The man seems to have a comment for just about everything, whether said comments make sense or not. The election is still a fair number of months away, so we're gonna be stuck listening to Trump for a while, and honestly, his insult, deflect, wash, repeat campaign is already getting old. To hopefully alleviate our pain, I've compiled a few suggestions for The Donald: three key ideas to try and improve his campaign.
1. Try using Shakespearean insults.
Hopefully, Jeb Bush was right when he told Trump, “You're not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency." Trump's penchant for resorting to name-calling has become so well-known that there's even a Donald Trump Insult Generator. Since there doesn't seem to be an end to this in the near future, however, I highly recommend that Trump try to spice things up a bit by letting one of the greatest minds in literature do the work for him and switch over to using insults from Shakespeare's work. Gems such as, “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality." would make Trump yelling at people far more enjoyable to listen to, at the very least.
2. Hold a "Best Campaign Sign" contest.
3. Generally, attempt to be less terrible.
One thing to admire about Trump is that he genuinely does not seem to care about what anyone thinks of him. That's cool, and something you should strive for as well. There is, however, an exception: if everyone's telling you that you're, say, racist, sexist, prejudiced, or unhinged... maybe take a good, long look in the mirror and revaluate. Trump's thoughts on foreign policy tend to make people say all those things about him and more, from his proposal to make Mexico pay for a border wall (because they're sending "rapists" to the U.S.), to his declaration that we should ban Muslims from entering the United States. The latter statement is now being used as a recruitment tool for terrorists. Not kidding. A Somalian branch of Al-Qaeda released a video featuring Trump calling for the banning of Muslims, using it as proof of a "malignant hatred" for Islam in America. While we obviously shouldn't be trying to kiss up to terrorists, perhaps we shouldn't give them more ways to get people to join them? Just a thought. We can't achieve peace and unity by dividing and oppressing.
November, please hurry. I can't take much more of this.
