Everyone likes to have goals in life, and that’s a good start for a successful life, but there is a fine line between goals and expectations. And it’s really important that you know the difference.
Goals are ideas that you set for yourself and hope that one day you will achieve them. Most people have goals like losing 10 pounds by the end of the year or working towards a promotion at work, but if these goals are met there, isn’t any real disappointment.
Expectations are different. If you expect that you're going to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year and then don’t, you start beating yourself up about it. And the possibility of a reverse effect is higher. Expectations lead to disappointments if they are not met. Which is a potential for more stress.
So how do we get away from expectations and become more goal orientated?
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
For example, if you are applying to a really competitive college and ask people who have already been admitted how their GPA was and so on, you compare yourself to them, and even though they were admitted, things could be different for you. Instead, know what the guidelines are for the college, and make a goal for yourself to meet them or even exceed them. Also important, is having a backup plan in case your first one doesn’t work. This way you are prepared, and your chances of disappointment aren’t as high.
2. Make goals more manageable and achievable
An author had her first book published, she expected to sell enough copies to quit her job. But at the end of the day she sold exactly ZERO copies. Quitting your job is a really big commitment for one thing, and when she didn’t sell any copies, she needed to take the time to rethink a lot of things. She started setting goals for herself. Sending out emails to potential readers that her new book was being sold, having book signings, and having some meet and greets. These goals were far more achievable than quitting her job over one book.
3. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
Ah, the famous saying, but really, doesn’t it make sense? For example, let's say your entire life you were planning to become a mortician, and you would like to stay in your home state to do so. You don’t make a plan B for yourself because you just know that you’ll get in. But if your home state happens to be Wisconsin, your options for school are extremely limited. So what happens if you don’t accepted into any of the schools? You just dropped your basket, and all the eggs came rolling out. But if you were to make your goals smaller and more on a step-by-step basis, it's easier to achieve.
Long story short, it’s easier to become disappointed when you have expectations for your life, and you can become easily heartbroken. But when you set goals for yourself, you keep yourself humble yet determined to accomplish what you have in mind. It’s not something easy to realize, but life is continually changing and the only thing you can for sure, 100% count on, is death (morbid I know). So maybe we should start having more goals for ourselves and less expectations. Let's see how that goes.
