Had this been an otherwise normal day in high school, things would be a lot different than they are now. A constant state of tired and busy has plagued my life since college. I was pretty busy while in high school, but that kind of busy was something completely different than the busy state I am now in. Let me elaborate.
1. I do everything now.
Yep, you read it. Everything! Instead of the happy-go-lucky high school me that had homework and maybe a few extracurricular activities to worry about, I now have all of those things (x3) and two jobs. Then I have socializing and finding a way to get food. Instead of mooching off of my parents for these essentials (food, money, etc.), I am now in charge of getting it myself. Also, when I went home after high school, I could lock myself in my room if I wanted. There was no expectation for me to hang out. That is not the case now. I made the mistake of being really social the first few years of school, so now everyone expects me to keep up appearances. It's not a bad thing, though. I like people, and I like being around my friends.
2. I had to find balance.
I was a perfectionist in high school. I mean, a student who freaked out if I got a low A. Anything below that was simply unacceptable. I went to school and I went back home only to do homework and study. I was a total nerd! I went into college with that same mindset. My very first gen ed class, ID 101, wrecked my 4.0. I finished with a B in that class due to a teacher who graded harshly. I was determined to bring my grade point average back up from that point on. This was exhausting, and I ran out of motivation during my second year. Four of my grades were Bs by midterms. I had let my grades slip too much for my liking; I just failed to see it until that point. Bottom line, I had to find a good mix between overworking myself to get perfect grades and slacking off, relaxing, and getting whatever grades I got. That balance can be hard to find.
3. I am so tired.
I got a pretty good amount of sleep in high school. Part of it was from my parents telling me to go to bed, and the other part was that I had enough hours in the day to get everything I needed done. That is not the case now. As the years in college have gone by, my ability to function with a few hours of sleep has gotten worse. I have gone from a high-functioning student to a wandering zombie who has been overworked. College has a bad habit of wearing down its students by asking so much of them. This ends up destroying the full learning potential of the student which causes this cycle to repeat over and over again.
I firmly believe that college has run me down, but I wouldn't trade the experience and the connections I have made in college for anything. No amount of sleep or resources could outweigh this experience.
