If you are hosting any college students at thanksgiving this year and want the day to run as smoothly as possible — without any fights, tears, or biscuits getting thrown at someone's face, you might want to consider avoiding these touchy topics...
1. How are your grades?
Please no. Just no. There are only a few short days where we can pretend that school doesn't matter and being reminded that in three more days we have to snap back to reality is just not good for our sanity. Don't ask us about our grades because at this point in the semester we honestly don't even know how they are. We learned to stop looking at them after each time we logged on to check and experienced anxiety attacks about how our dreams of graduating and getting a job are slowly slipping away.
And avoiding the grades question does not mean you can resort to asking us what classes we are taking either. Honestly at this point in the semester we're not even too sure what classes we are enrolled in because we haven't gone in weeks. We stopped going when we realized we got the same grades when we attended versus when we didn't. Here we are enrolled in some major and we're taking classes that have absolutely nothing to do with it. The only thing these classes are helping us with is lowering our gpa and raising our stress levels.
2. "You look different."
You don't have to sugarcoat it. We know we look like death. We haven't slept in weeks and our bags have bags under our eyes. And YES WE KNOW, we gained some pounds. Do we go to gym? Well then when would we study? We can't eat healthy because we can't afford healthy food. How would we pay for our booze? You can't expect us to survive school without going out and trying to forget about it each weekend. And we need that slice (or three) of pizza when we get home that night so we don't feel as sick the next morning when we wake up to all the homework we've been procrastinating all week.
3. Have you met anyone?
WE ARE NOT DUMB. WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING AT AND NO WE DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND. But yes, in reference to your question, we have met people. Lots actually. Have we talked to them since then? Most likely not. Do we want to? Most likely not. He might be hot, but we're not trying to date someone who wears shorts as short as ours with Bean boots and whose hobbies include smashing beers on their head for fun.
Overall, just engage in as little conversation as possible with us. We love you guys dearly but being bombarded with these questions might send us over the edge. Please just let us sit, drink, and stuff our faces with mashed potatoes and pie as we ignore the fact that college is ruining our sleep patterns, livers, and bank account.
