Your eyes flutter open slowly because you slept in your contacts and your eyeballs are drier than the Sahara. You realize you are not in your bedroom and you have a bit of an internal panic attack, but then you remember that you shacked the night before. Congratulations on getting laid!
However, with each shack comes the inevitable walk of shame. Sometimes you get lucky and snag a ride, whether it is from the person who saw you naked that previous night, a kind friend who is happy to be your shack shuttle, or the campus buses. Still, there is always the imperative need to walk from point A to point B.
Yes, walks of shame can be uncomfortable -- literally, if you are wearing heels and figuratively because in the daylight it is almost always noticeable that you are wearing last night’s everything. While you hang your head in, well, shame as you walk home, try and lift your spirits with the knowledge that you can learn a lot from every walk of shame! These will be valuable lessons you will keep with you for the rest of your life.
Importance of a good coat
Hypothetically speaking, if I ever did do a walk of shame in Bloomington I am sure that I would learn that walking home in the bitter winter in nothing but a light sweater and leggings may not be the be the best apparel for a morning stroll. If you don’t feel like bringing a coat out with you at night, then be prepared to steal a sweatshirt of sorts from the individual you did some horizontal cardio with.
While we are on the subject of clothing, you will also learn that if you have a themed party, walking home while still wearing your costume is actually very comical and will also encourage you to walk quickly and discreetly.
How to build character
While some may call it a walk of shame, after each one that you do you may begin calling it strides of pride. Who cares if you are walking home barefooted with your hair all knotted up? You got some last night, and if anybody judges you for that then they are simply grumpy and envious because of their own personal dry spell. So keep your head up high and walk with a smile on your face. Seriously, walks of shame are as beneficial to your confidence as those spirit-lifting retreats that everybody went on in high school.
How to seriously evaluate your life
There is no better time to re-prioritize your life than while you are walking home with a tired body and a hangover that is about to roll in. So, maybe, while you are doing your walk of shame decide whether what you are studying is really your passion, make plans to reach out to your friends who you have not seen in a while and call your parents to tell them you miss them -- just tell them you are up early to get a head start on the day. They will probably send you a Starbucks gift card for all the hard work you are putting in.
So remember -- shoulders back, shoes off, and head held high. You can learn more from your walk of shame than you could have ever imagined.
