Out of the entirety of human history, the Internet is arguably the one creation that has changed us the most. The newfound ability to connect with anyone around the world or find limitless information in a matter of seconds is nothing like we have ever seen before. But with such a power comes great responsibility, and what we do online can have a great impact on who we are offline.
Admittedly, I have spent more time on the Internet than most people, but with my years of it, I have definitely come to learn many things that have positively influenced who I’ve come to be now. Here are the three most important things I’ve learned from my time online.
1. Sometimes people are really and truly awful, and how you react to them makes all the difference.
While the Internet can serve as a nice way to remove yourself from harsh realities, it can just as easily expose you to even harsher people and scenarios. It’s unbelievable at times just how terrible people can be to one another, and when it’s constantly around every corner, it can get a bit overwhelming. These attitudes and behaviors end up being a cesspit of negativity. While some people feed it with just as much anger, I internalized a lot of it, letting it rule me until I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown more than once, until, one day, I was suddenly struck with the realization that I can change it.
The solution I discovered was to begin treating people with patience and understanding. Being slow to anger can diffuse situations some of the time; other times, when it has no effect on the other person at all, the reflection it casts on yourself is huge in how other people see you. The ability to keep calm and refuse to take the bait is a valuable skill to carry throughout life. Sometimes it means to stop engaging with them, which doesn’t mean defeat or weakness - it only means that you understand your boundaries and your well-being is more important than their nastiness.
2. There are some really great people in the world, and it’s up to you to find them.
Growing up, I was always a bit of an outsider. For the most part, I didn’t mind and took some pride in my individuality, but at points, it became intensely isolating. The only place I had left was the Internet.
Being that lonely at times makes you wonder if there’s really anyone out there that’s like you and who’ll want to like you, and the Internet was my confirmation that there are. You find people like you, you make that tentative decision to talk with them about those things you like, and you find there are other things that you both like, and that you’re both rather shy online but even more so in real life, and they feel just as alone as you do.
It occurred to me this year just how many people I had met through the internet - I have somewhere around 80 to 100 people I converse with on a rather frequent basis, all with the same interests as me, and by this point, I can’t help but wonder how successful I might be with making friends offline if I just let my interests be known and ask others about theirs. But it’s not always about interests, either - some of the best friends I’ve made was a connection based on our personality and values, and not really on anything else. And in the end, it doesn’t matter why you’re friends with someone.
3. Open and clear communication is the most important part of good, healthy relationships.
Relationships over the Internet are unlike any other relationship. Since most online relationships are only limited to being online, it’s very hard to read body language or the actions of others, and misinterpreting the nuance of text can result in disastrous confrontations.
I have always had a hard time expressing how I feel to others, but after being involved in so many different situations where miscommunication is the main culprit online, I have learned how to openly and clearly communicate my feelings with other so hard feelings don’t build up over time.
Of course, I’m still working on it, since keeping my feelings to myself is so ingrained, but learning how to speak my mind, keeping blame out of it, acknowledging I myself have something to take away from it, and talking without rancor with the intent of resolving things is an asset that will benefit me wherever I go.
I’m still figuring things out and messing up, but those things are inevitable. Regardless of that, what’s important is that I continue to improve myself, and make the world a better place to be offline. If it weren’t for the Internet, I wouldn’t have understood the importance of self-improvement.
