29 Signs You Have Been On Too Many Family Road Trips | The Odyssey Online
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29 Signs You Have Been On Too Many Family Road Trips

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29 Signs You Have Been On Too Many Family Road Trips
  1. You've been to places that your friends have never heard of, like Pigeon Forge, Tenn., or Frankenmuth, Mich.
  2. You can recite Cracker Barrel's menu front to back.
  3. You've mastered the art of falling asleep in the back of a minivan.
  4. You have a folder on your phone for all of the map apps you've downloaded, and you have an astronomically high Waze score.
  5. You're the designated parent on any road trip you take with your friends.
  6. You're used to waking up pre-7 a.m. in order to fit as many events into the day as possible, even though it's a “vacation."
  7. You haven't been on a plane with your entire family in 5 plus years.
  8. You know that playing Mario Kart is so much more fun when you're actually in a car at the same time.
  9. You've been to the most obscure museums and seen things that you didn't think existed.
  10. You've definitely been to more hotel pools and arcade rooms than all of your friends combined.
  11. You've experienced the best feeling on Earth, which is arriving at your destination after two full days of driving.
  12. You're the best in your friend group at calling shotgun because you've had so much practice snagging the best seat in the car.
  13. You appreciate your siblings so much more because you've seen them at their worst, like after they puked that one time only an hour into the full-day drive.
  14. You also have a unique appreciation for your parents, who somehow master the ability to drive on unlit highways for hours on end while you're fighting in the back seat.
  15. At some point, you had FourSquare, and you were king of about five random restaurants in rural Kentucky.
  16. Gas station bathrooms are second nature to you.
  17. As are highway rest stations.
  18. You're, literally, impervious to any kind of motion sickness.
  19. Your family car seems to always be full of random phone and laptop chargers.
  20. Your family owned a GPS way before it was a thing.
  21. At some point, your father tried to teach you something about the highway system in the U.S.
  22. You've completed at least some portion of your required driving permit hours on a desolate highway in middle America.
  23. You could give a 10-page report on the best hotel chains across the country. Hampton Inn would be at the top, of course.
  24. Your family collectively has gotten really good at making sure they pee before getting on the road.
  25. You have an undying allegiance towards continental breakfasts.
  26. That said, the pre-museum Pop Tart is always a go-to.
  27. You're the authority figure for snacks in your friend group.
  28. You know that exercise may be tiring, but not more tiring than 11 hours in a car.
  29. Through your parents' wisdom and planning, you've come to appreciate the long days in a hot minivan that have become second nature because you know in the end, you've truly seen it all.
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