Ah, the days leading up to payday—a grind. At this point, it’s turned into a game and every other Thursday is the final destination. How close can I cut it to the last dime without my card being declined at Earth Fare or Starbucks?

Fact: I have no concept of time or money (I’m an optimist). Also a fact: It’s really hard to stretch money further than it actually goes.

Budgeting—never a strength of mine. The answer is either more money orrrrrr more money—never, “spend less” or “make a budget” (I mean “learn to budget”). Although I start to believe every payday that approaches I’m a little bit closer to getting my life together, I seem to be living paycheck to paycheck and have been since college—aka I live for every other Thursday.

Teach me how to budget, teach me, teach me how to budget. Teach Me How To Dougie, remix version. Other than "why wasn't Personal Life Budgeting After College 101 a course in college?," these are the series of events and things that go through my mind the days leading up to payday.

1. I hope to the Gods I can at least stop at Starbucks.

Even a tall pike place will do. I guess I can go without a cake pop.

2. Come on Starbucks gold card funds, don't run out yet.

Better yet… some gold stars to put towards my purchase.

3. Oh good, gold stars!

Add a breakfast sandwich to my order

4. I hope my gas tank is full.

Sh*t, I hope I can make 30 miles last me today.

5. Ok, I can put like a $1 in my tank to get from my apartment to Earth Fare.

I should really learn to budget.

6. What's a "budget" anyway?

I don't even know.

7. Maybe money will magically appear in my account.

The chances of it happening are pretty slim. But sometimes a credit or reimbursement I forgot I was waiting for magically appears. SOMETIMES.

8. Drinks? Today? How about tomorrow?

Your co-workers ask you out for drinks and you say you’ll get back to them. Meanwhile, you check your bank account and let them know you can’t today but tomorrow sounds fab.

9. Chick-Fil-A or cereal sounds perfect for dinner.

An 8-count nugget is $3.20 and I’m golden.

10. Omg student loans I hate you.

I actually hate you.

11. When did I last ask mom or dad for money?

OK, last month. I’m fine.

12. I hope I still have that bag of frozen veggies in the freezer.

Mmmmmmm, no veggies. Good thing I have avocados—superfood will compensate for the lack of other things on my plate.

13. It’s either a bottle of wine or a meal.

Wine, definitely wine.

14. Are these sponsored Facebook posts trying to tell me something?

So many budget apps. *Clicks ‘Save for Later’* Meanwhile, I head on over to my email and I have one telling me to schedule my one-on-one with a financial advisor.

15. Please have enough dry shampoo left to last me today and tomorrow.

And body wash and razors and toothpaste and deodorant and contact solution.

16. And olive oil.

And almond milk.

17. Who did I say I was going to pay back this paycheck?

Oh good, that’s not as many as I thought.

18. Shoot, I forgot about my Banana Republic card.

And that other one...

19. Everything's fine, my 403(b) is poppin'.

This is the only thing that makes me feel like a grown-up.

20. Why did I “need” a new car that one time?

Could I not have just gotten an old one? Did I really need a new one!?

21. Sushi for lunch sounds great.

$5 Sushi on Wednesdays at Earth Fare is a means of survival and lunch every other week. But only lunch because by dinnertime, they’re fresh out.

22. I hope those pair of shoes in my cart at Zara don’t go out of stock.

Or I might cry.

23. Ok, I’ll ask dad for like $20 for groceries.

And hope that he’ll put $30, maybe even $40, in there.

24. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is rent so expensive, why?

I cry just about every time I drop my check off for rent. *Reminds self that she loves her apartment*

25. Can I just pay this bill next paycheck?

*

*Checks calendar and due dates; decides next paycheck will be fine*

26. It won’t be like this forever, it won’t be like this forever.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Keep working hard, remind yourself you’re only twenty-something and you’re doing pretty darn good, and all good things come in time. #YOLO