The first time I remember setting foot on an airplane was when I was around 4 or 5 years old; my family was headed on our annual trip to visit my grandparents in Florida. The excitement I felt on my first flight has been somewhat retained over the years. No matter the travel reason or destination, I've always felt elated to board a plane. There is, however, one exception: any red-eye flight. For those unfamiliar with the term, I'm referring to any long-term flight that leaves during the nighttime and arrives the following morning. Those awfully long, uncomfortable flights (unless you have the luxury of sitting in first class) with lukewarm food, paper pillowcases and scratchy blankets. Here are some thoughts we've all had on red-eye flights:
1. Oh great, we've started boarding.
2. I'm always one of the last groups to board. Maybe I'll get to board at the beginning this time!
3. My ticket says Group 7. I didn't even know a flight needed to be broken down into that many categories of passengers?
4. The airport employees look freezing out there on the runway.
5. I really hope they don't lose my luggage this time.
6. Hey, this is a pretty big plane. Maybe I'll get an aisle seat.
7. Dear God, please please give me an aisle seat, even a window seat would suffice. Just not the middle.
8. Also, please don't seat me next to a crying baby. Or someone who snores. Or both.
9. Are the flight attendants paid to smile as much as they do? I wonder if they're just genuinely happy people.
10. Perfect, an aisle seat. What did I do to deserve such luxury??
11. I'm going to get so much work done on this flight.
12. Maybe I'll just sleep instead.
13. Ah, the safety announcements and procedures. Do people even listen to those?
14. Those yellow emergency slides do look kind of fun to slide down...if I wasn't in an actual emergency
15. Why don't the oxygen air masks inflate when turned on?
16. Yeah, right am I going to put my phone on airplane mode. I'll just hide it from the attendants when they walk by.
17. But what if we crash? What if the plane can't take off?
18. Oh, never mind. We're in the air.
19. I wonder how many germs are floating about this giant metal vessel soaring through the air. I don't want to think about it.
20. Aaaand we have our first crying baby of the flight.
21. I need a drink. Flights are always so dehydrating.
22. Lights are out? I guess this means it's time to sleep.
23. What sick excuse for a pillow is this?! Should've bought one of those neck donuts at the airport.
24. How am I supposed to sleep comfortably when these seats recline at a maximum of 15 degrees?
25. Only ten and a half more hours to go.
