25 Signs You Were Raised By A Lawyer
Politics and Activism

25 Signs You Were Raised By A Lawyer

You hate yourself, but still somehow think you're better than everyone else.


Growing up, we find ourselves being governed by the "laws" our parents created for us. "No boys in your room," "No shoes inside," "No food upstairs," etc. After all, their house, their rules, right? But growing up in a household where one or more of your parents actually studies the law, you not only learn right from wrong but also how to cover your ass in tough situations (thanks, dad). So, if your living room was filled with dusty old books nobody read and completed crossword puzzles, or you found yourself constantly talking about depositions at the dinner table, then you know what I'm talking about. Here are 25 indisputable pieces of evidence that you will consent to if you're the child of a lawyer (trust me, I'm right on this):

1. You have an undeniable urge to object whenever someone says something ignorant in class

2. Your family's favorite games to play involve words: Scrabble, Bananagrams, Boggle, etc.

because your parent always kicked your a** at Clue.

3. You always sent your parent your essays to edit

4. Because growing up, any field trip forms or permission slips had looked like this

5. You could recite your Miranda Rights before the Pledge of Allegiance

6. And any potential boyfriend or girlfriend can expect more than just the usual cross-examination

7. You've successfully talked your way out of a parking or speeding ticket

because you can

8. Yellow legal pads always sort of just appeared

and they were everywhere

9. Asking your parents for something involved a power-point presentation and a 10-page plea

"Hello. Thank you for agreeing to speak with me today, your time and consideration. Here are just a few *42* reasons why you should let me eat my dinner in the bath"

10. You always are able to look at things from both sides

11. You learned at a young age that lying makes everything worse

12. But somehow, got really good at it

13. "Where's your homework?"

14. Your parent can skim a chapter of your textbook and give you a summary of what happened in 4 sentences

15. You preface all comments with "for the record"

16. You knew the words allegedly, subpoena, deposition, sustained, prosecution and objection by age 13

17. You are physically incapable of keeping your opinions to yourself

18. Because let's be honest, you're always right

19. You threaten companies that sign you up for monthly subscriptions without your knowledge

20. You never, ever sign anything without reading it all the way through first

21. You respond to "I love you" with "do you have evidence to support that statement?"

22. You find loopholes in everyday issues

23. When the doctor asks how many drinks you consume each week, you respond:

24. You never feel like you're arguing, you're simply explaining why you're right

25. Because again, you are

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